Category Archives: Midtown West

Filet Mignon, Midtown West, Press Reviews, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Frankie & Johnnie’s (37th St.)

May 24, 2012 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

Frankie & Johnnie’s overall score: 79

In a last minute, game time decision to grab some steaks, I took my wife and the super awesome guy who built this website out to dinner as a thank you gesture for all the work put into getting this page into legitimacy. It turned out to be a really fucking good meal.

Flavor: 9 (updated to 8)

We got the peppercorn crusted ribeye for two that was on special here. It was beautifully cooked to right between medium and medium rare, like we asked. If I had to guess I’d say it was maybe 36-40oz, but it had no waste on it. It came pre-sliced, but not in the shitty style of how most places serve the “porterhouse for two.” You know the drill and how it is at those shit boxes; it comes out on a screeming hot bowl-plate, and the bleed-out liquid pools underneath the carcass. It’s like a culinary horror movie where the star of the film gets killed at the end instead of living happily ever after. Then the meat becomes dry unless you destroy the soft tissue in your mouth and eat it right away, while it is still 17 million degrees. No – Frankie & Johnnie’s respects the meat! They let it rest and cool down, and there was absolutely no run-off under the sliced meat. NONE. It held all its juices, and the deliciousness was locked in tight. It has a great char on the edges, and the peppercorn crusting added interesting flavor, though I thought the peppercorn was not really necessary. Even the blubber was smooth and edible on this fucker – like you could smear it on bread instead of using butter, kinda like roasted bone marrow but less gamey. It was served with a gravy boat of sauce – likely a catching of flavorful drippings and juices from the cooking process, clarified, and reduced just a bit for cohesion. It was fucking drinkable. Bravo to this place.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9 (updated to 8)

The menu online is very different from what they have on site, so I was pleasantly surprised to see more variety than I expected. They had the basics in the following form: filet with a mushroom cap (in two sizes), ground filet mignon (think elevated “chopped steak”), “sirloin steak” (which I assume is a lesser version of a strip cut, but aged nicely), a ribeye, a t-bone (a “lesser” porterhouse, but for one), and porterhouses for two or three. In addition, and on special, they had the ribeye for two that I described above. All the beef is dry aged and prime quality, and on top of the good beef selection they also have a great selection of alternameats (see the other section below). All that was missing was, say, a flank or a skirt cut.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

Sizes here are good but not off the charts. As I mentioned the ribeye for two was certainly enough given the fact that there was no waste. It was in the 36-40oz range, and while I have had ribeye for one at 39oz, the quality here surpassed nearly all other large portioned cuts that I’ve had. The filet comes in 8oz flavor, or 12oz flavor. You see the trend? Not too massive, but all good. So you get bang for your buck.

Price: 9

The prices here are actually really great for NYC. Nothing breaks $50 for a singular cut of meat, and most items from the beef side of things come in around mid $40s. The ribeye for two was $90. For a special cold seafood tower, an order of oysters, a bacon app, a special ribeye for two, two sides, a dessert, and four drinks the bill only came to $281 after tax. Not bad at all for a thoroughly enjoyed meal. I only took a point off because they mistakenly charged me for and served me a scotch that cost $4 more than the one I actually ordered.

Bar: 7

Frankie & Johnnie’s is set up a bit odd, but they make good use of the space. When you walk in, you are in a small entry hall with the greeter. There is a stairway up to the main dining room, and a short stairway down into the bar area, which extends backward on the ground floor level. It is dim, but lively. It has one flat screen tv, and across are a bunch of tables for bar dining. The martini was made perfectly, though a bit on the pricey side at $13-$14. Since it isn’t adjacent to the windows, it lacks a certain feel that I’ve come to want at restaurant bars. Contrast with Del Frisco’s bar, which is big, open, and right along the windows. See a picture of the bar and seating area below:

Specials and Other Meats: 8

On special was the ribeye for two, a hot seafood platter app, a cold seafood platter app, and an apple smoked thick cut bacon app. I would have liked to see a marinated flank or skirt to round out the beef selection, but otherwise it was a decent showing, especially considering we ordered three of the four items on special. As for other meats, they offered a great and unique selection; double loin lamb chops, pork chops, veal porterhouse, calves liver, and chicken (for pussies and broads).

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7 (updated to 6)

We started with a plate of Pine Island oysters and the apple bacon app. The bacon was nice and thick, though one piece I had was a bit stringy since it was the end of the belly. The apples added a nice sweetness and acidity to contrast the fat. The oysters were creamy, crisp, cold, clean, and packed a lot of flavor. My wife had the cold seafood platter. It’s meant to serve two people, but I thought it was a little small for that (and pricey at $54). It had two oysters, two clams, two shrimp, some lump crab meat, and a half lobster (likely a small 1lb jammy). It was all very tasty though, so size was the only issue. The creamed spinach is a staple at any steak meal. Here it was average – yummy but not stellar. It was creamy, but a bit too loose. I’ve had better at Wolfgang’s. The mushrooms and onions were sweet and earthy. They did a good sautee job on them – not too salty, oily or buttery. For dessert we tried the coconut sorbet; it was airy, natural tasting, and creamy, yet did it not feel or taste like dairy. I guess that’s why it’s called sorbet and not ice cream, but it had the consistancy of ice cream.

Seafood Selection: 9 (updated to 8)

They offer Maine and African lobster, broiled salmon, shrimp scampi, Chilean seabass, and pan seared tuna for seafood entrees (along with a quiffy surf & turf). There’s also lots of the standard stuff on the app side of the menu, like the raw bar, crab cakes and all manner of cocktails.

Service: 9

The waiter was great – he gave us enough space but he was always there when we needed him. He was cheerful and happy, but not in the fake “TGI Friday’s” kind of way. He was genuine. All the servers were dressed with formal attire (vests and ties), and the staff was mixed male and female. The bread assortment consisted of some onion bread, garlic bread, flat bread, and other dinner rolls. The bread was warm but the butter was cold.

Ambiance: 8

Despite a slight lacking in the bar area, Frankie & Johnnie’s main dining room has elegant decor, lofty ceilings, and plenty of space. It is classy but not stuffy. In the rear there is a huge fireplace with lots of dark wood trim surrounds. Very nice. One down side is the lack of a bathroom on the dining floor. You have to go down to the back of the bar area, and that shitter isn’t that nice to begin with. Mediocre at best.

UPDATE: 1/18/18

After a re-visit many years later, I had to drop the score down a few points. The rib eye was flavorful but lots of the fat was inedible. The filet had more flavor, despite having less character.

Rib Eye: 7/10

Filet Mignon: 8/10

Steak Sauce

The seafood appetizer special for two, I thought, was going to be a chilled seafood platter. It turned out to be crab cakes, baked clams, and shrimp scampi. It wasn’t bad, in fact i liked the crab cake’s potato crust. It was just a little bit skimpy for a dish “for two.”

Mixed Seafood Grill

The bacon was a bit too fatty. I enjoy eating fat bacon, but perhaps this needed to be cooked for a longer amount of time at a lower temperature, to ensure that all the chewy bits became soft.

Bacon

The potatoes were cut into chunks as opposed to sliced thin. The result inside was a thin, soupy consistency that wasn’t too good.

Potatoes Au Gratin

The broccoli was great. Simple garlic and oil preparation, crisped and sautéed nicely.

Broccoli

Both the bread pudding and the chocolate lava cake lacked flavor. Particularly the lava cake. The outside was rubbery and flavorless.

Bread Pudding

FRANKIE & JOHNIE’S
32 W. 37th St.
New York, NY 10018

Midtown West, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Ben Benson’s

April 28, 2012 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Ben Benson’s overall score: 83

UPDATE: BEN BENSON’S IS NOW CLOSED!

Ben Benson’s opened in 1982 and has been known in the steak industry ever since. Nestled in the heart of midtown’s active workplace environs, and close enough to the theater district, it has become just as wildly popular as any other steakhouse in this highly competitive area of beefery. After eating here I heard some disappointing news that Benson’s is closing for good. From Johnny Prime: It is sad to see you go! I guess that makes this review somewhat obsolete and unnecessary.

Flavor: 7

I had the ribeye. Surprised about that? Nope. All you assholes should know my ordering habits by now if you are keeping up with this blog. The steak was perfectly and evenly cooked to medium, and it had a great crust on the outside, but the meat was under seasoned. This was the first time I ever had to use the salt and pepper shakers at a steakhouse. Damn! But once seasoned, it was good. I noticed a general lack of salt in a few other dishes actually (sides in particular), though the lobster was just right. I guess not enough salt is better than too much salt though. In any event, despite an overall satisfying meal, I took some points off for that basic cooking 101 blunder.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10

Ben Benson’s has a wide variety of cuts available. They have strip, filet and porterhouse – all three cuts available for both one or two – as well as a roasted prime rib (for pussies) AND a ribeye (for real men). They have several preparations of filet, “steak a la stone,” a skirt steak, a chopped steak, and lots of alternameats (see below). They even had a cajun ribeye and a bison ribeye. All the beef is aged prime, so you are good to go. To top it off, they also offer smaller portions of most cuts listed here. NOTE: if you go with bison, know that there is less marbling in the meat, as it is leaner. That means less flavor, and more toughness. The bison is also not aged or prime like the beef is. It is also a smaller cut. In short: stick with the beef cuts and give a hearty “fuck you, but thanks anyway” to the bison.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

Sizes here are good for the beef. They don’t list the ounces on the menu, but I was told the ribeye is about 22oz (bone-in), and the buffalo ribeye (which I was considering) was about 14 or 15oz. The sides are a bit small for the price of $11.50.

Price: 8

The price is average to a bit on the high end here. However they do offer a steak dinner for two, 7-days a week, for only $95. You choose between a filet with shrimp, or chateaubriand. It comes with soup, salad, and two sides. That is a fantastic deal. Our total bill for two apps, two entrees, two sides, a dessert, a lemonade, coffee, tea, and a martini came to $276 (tax and tip included). The 3lb lobster rang in at a whopping $73.50. KABOOM! As noted above, sides were $11.50. Martini was $15. Steak was $52.50.

Bar: 7

The bar is a little disjointed. When you walk in it is on the right, and it wraps around making a squared off U-shape, but the bottom part of the U is essentially a narrow hallway type thing to the other side. There is also an unsightly entrance into the corporate office building lobby on that side, but no big deal. The $15 martini was made well, though could have been made colder. They also serve some cool homemade french fries/potato chips at the bar, which were interesting. The bar also attracts some after work people from midtown, so it IS lively for socializing, mingling, finger-banging, and all that other bullshit.

Specials and Other Meats: 10

The $95 steak for two special is available every day. In addition they had a bone-in strip steak, salmon, mahi mahi, soft shell crab, shrimp bisque, and broccoli rabe on special. For other meats, they had veal, pork and chicken – each served a few different ways – as well as “winter wild game,” which I assume were the bison ribeyes. A really great and diverse mix. This place really has a big selection.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

We had the house cured gravlax and the soft shell crab for starters. Both were good, though I think the lox could have been cut a little thinner and chilled a bit more, perhaps topped with some capers (though it did come with garlic toast). The crab was a little bit heavy (meaning buttery like a belly bomb), but the portion size was good (one 5in crab I would guess, point to point across the top of its shell – that’d be blue claw, assholes). As such it wasn’t overwhelming to the gut. On the side we had creamed spinach and broccoli rabe. The broccoli rabe was a simple saute in garlic and oil. It was light and not too potent or bitter. The greens were barely wilted, so it had a crunch. The creamed spinach was similar; also very light – lightest creamed spinach ever actually – and not salty. For dessert we had key lime pie. I’d say all of it was average. Nothing really shined or stood out as exceptional, but also nothing was disappointing. I’ve been to a lot of places, and not every meal is going to blow your mind. It is terrible when you pay that much and they completely ruin shit. But here, nothing gets ruined. On the other hand nothing is mind-blowingly jerkworthy either. The sides did seem a bit small for the price, however (not like we could finish them all anyway).

Seafood Selection: 9

Ben Benson’s is the first place where I have seen crab on the menu as an entree. This made me very excited. Crab, I feel, is one of the only things you are allowed to order if you aren’t getting a steak at a steakhouse. And when I say crab as an entree, I don’t mean crab cakes, or lump crab meat (which they have as well) – I am talking REAL crab. Stone crab. I was down when we were told it was currently not in season/unavailable. They did have soft shell crab though (both as an app, and as an entree). I may have to come back just to try the stone crab someday… oh wait… can’t because they’re closing. They also had several preparations of shrimp, some scallops, filet of sole, fish of the day (plural – they were salmon and mahi mahi), 3-7lb Maine lobsters (holy shit 7lb is HUGE), and a variety of typical shellfish (calamari, Blue Point oysters, smoked salmon, salmon tartare) on the app menu. The only thing missing was a “seafood plateau” or sampler, which is what my wife likes to get. Point off for that. BUT – the lobster was incredible, and it was a nice touch for them to crack it table side.

Service: 10

The host upgraded us from a small table in a central area to a booth up on one of the elevated dining areas once he realized we were there for our “anniversary” reservation. The waiters are all male, and they all had ties on with some kind of beige jacket on their shoulders. It almost looked like outerwear. Our waiter was great. He cracked my wife’s lobster at the table and pulled out the meat for her (that sounds awesomely perverse). Later, he and another waiter sang a happy anniversary song for us, and more importantly, they knew their steak. Our waiter spoke with me about the difference in quality and marbling between the buffalo ribeye (on special) and the beef ribeye. He was attentive and friendly. In terms of bread, which I always mention in some way, it was not warm and the butter was not cold. It was somewhere in the average area. A crispy ciabatta type bread was in there, a raisin walnut, and bread sticks. Their steak sauce tasted like dark red cocktail sauce – I generally don’t dig steak sauces so I just tried it with the bread.

Ambiance: 7

This place is somewhere in between a new steakhouse and an old steakhouse. The decor says it is trying to be the older type, the classic chop house, but the location and environs says the opposite. Contrast this with a place like Del Frisco’s, which embraces its corporateness and blows it out the water in terms of ambiance. It works there. I guess it didn’t help that the entire front of the building was covered up by the scaffolding on 52nd street, which, by the way, never seemed to go away until I learned of their closing. The bathroom was basic – nothing fancy. Thick paper towels though. You know I like that shit.

Midtown West, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Empire Steakhouse

March 30, 2012 Johnny Prime 4 Comments

Empire Steakhouse overall score: 77

UPDATE: THIS LOCATION HAS CLOSED

On a whim my wife and I decided to give this place a try since it was right near work. Empire is run by former Luger’s and Ben & Jack’s staff, so you know there is clout behind what they do.

Flavor: 7

I had the ribeye, as usual. It was pretty tasty, but there were some quality issues that caused a slight decrease in flavor. See below for full details on that. As for flavor, it had a nice smoky, charred taste, which was enjoyable. It was nicely seasoned too, and cooked/rested correctly. They have a proprietary steak sauce on the table, but I didn’t dig it. It tasted like ketchup and horseradish (cocktail sauce).

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7

Empire covers the basics in a plentiful way. They offer porterhouse for two, three, or four; ribeye; filet; strip; and even prime rib. To top it off there are veal and lamb chops too. The issue is that my particular cut was sub par. There was a good deal of inedible gristle and fat on it that didn’t melt away, and some spots were chewy. I’d guess about 3-4oz. worth was inedible. Also, the bone on it was rather big. Normally I don’t mind that one bit, but this time it took up a good amount of the ounce-age of the steak, so the edible portion size (taking bone and gristle into consideration) ended up on the small size even though it probably clocked in at around 20oz total weight. Maybe I was able to eat 12oz of it?

Portion Size & Plating: 7

For the steak, part of this relates back to the above comments: “There was a good deal of inedible gristle and fat on it that didn’t melt away. I’d guess about 3-4oz worth was inedible. Also, the bone on it was rather big. Normally I don’t mind that one bit, but this time it took up a good amount of the ounce-age of the steak, so the edible portion size (taking bone and gristle into consideration) ended up on the small size even though it probably clocked in at around 20oz total weight. Maybe I was able to eat 12oz of it?” The steak for multiples comes out pre-sliced on a sizzling platter, just like the assholes at Luger’s do, and just like the dunces at Mark Joseph do. I personally HATE this method of serving, because the meat bleeds out and becomes dry, and often it isn’t cooked properly. Anyone who is into steak knows that a steak should be rested before it is cut, not sizzling on a God-damned hot plate like a fucking steak fajita at TGI Fridays (by the way – fajita meats steak in Spanish… so steak fajita is the equivalent of saying “steak steak”). I understand the presentation is fun this way, but guys… come on… you are fucking up the meat! The creamed spinach, bacon slabs and creme brulee were the right sizes, but the oyster app was $14 for six pieces (see price section below), and the chilled seafood platter only had two shrimp, a fist full of lump crab meat, and a small lobster. To top it off, the shrimp and lobster on the seafood platter were utterly flavorless. The crab meat on it, however, was great.

Price: 7

The price wasn’t too bad considering we had a full meal in a NYC steakhouse. The total bill with tax and tip included came to about $175. The ribeye was $43, the seafood platter was $27, bacon by the slice was $4, and martinis were $13. As I mentioned above, however, the oysters were a little pricey, the steak was not the best cut, and the seafood platter was a bit lacking; so you pay a little less because you are getting a little less I suppose.

Bar: 7

The bar is small but neat, modern and clean. The martini was a little heavier on the vermouth than I normally like, but they did have raspberry caipirinhas for the wifey to sip on. The best part about the bar was the free home made potato chips that tasted like steak meat.

Specials and Other Meats: 8

Empire has a prime rib for people who are too puss-cake for the ribeye. They also have lamb and veal chops to round out their selection of carnivorous delights. On special there was… nothing! Oh well. Not that big of a deal.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8

My wife had the seafood platter for her entree, and that was flavorless in the two shrimp and small lobster section, but great for the lump crab meat portion. The oysters were creamy, crisp, cold and fresh, but they were over priced. We also had the bacon slabs, which were “Canadian” style and tasted a bit more like ham than real bacon, but it was still yummy. On the side, we had creamed spinach, which was really great – almost exactly the same as Wolfgang’s, which are my favorite (retained the spinach flavor, not too salty, not heavy, yet still creamy). For dessert we had creme brulee, which was basic and standard… and good! I love me some creme brulee!

Seafood Selection: 9

Empire has a really fantastic selection for seafood. For entrees they have sea bass, salmon, tuna, sole, lobster, crab cakes, and shrimp dishes. For apps they have the usual lump crab meat, crab cakes, lobster cocktail, shrimp cocktail, clams, oysters, baked clams, fried calamari, and a seafood platter. Excellent. From what we tried, however, we were only half pleased (loved the oysters and crab meat, didn’t like the shrimp and lobster so much), so I took a point for that.

Service: 9

Our waiter was a little aloof and quiet, but I don’t mind that so much. One of the other waiters actually had the courtesy to apologize to my wife when the group he was seating bumped into her twice, HARD, without even acknowledging the mishap. That was nice of him. The waiters all have red vests with bow ties on top of white tux shirts, all male. The bread basket was the same exact basket from Wolfgang’s: fennel and salt loaf, nice rigid french bread, and some poppy and onion rolls. Unfortunately one of the waiters knocked the french bread out of the basket when he was setting up our oysters. My wife likes French bread, so that was more her loss than mine.

Ambiance: 8

As mentioned above, the waiters all have red vests with bow ties on top of white tux shirts, and they’re all male. The decor is elegant and modern, but not over the top. Everything is neat and clean, including the bathroom, which had nice off-white marble tiles all over. It was a single person toilet with thick paper towels set upon the marble counter tops.

EMPIRE STEAKHOUSE
36 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

Filet Mignon, Midtown West, NY Strip, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Nick & Stef’s

March 3, 2012 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

Nick & Stef’s Steakhouse overall score: 86

This was my second time eating at Nick & Stef’s. The first time was a few years back, before I started reviewing. My wife and I went for an anniversary and the chef came out to ask how our meal was. I remember the steak was good that time (I had the strip). This time my wife had a coupon for $50 off the bill for her bday (sign up for their newsletters), so that was a recipe for return. Unfortunately this place is going to be closing for several months while MSG is renovated, so go while you can. Renovations may even stretch on into 2013 if certain things pan out.

NOTE: Nick & Stef’s is finally back! My wife and I went for a third visit on 02/25/14 and there were some improvements. See the below bolded items.

Flavor: 9

I almost want to give this place a 10, but there was just a slight lack of flavor as I got toward the bone side of my ribeye. This is kind of splitting hairs, I realize… It was juicy and cooked properly, just lacked a little seasoning in that deep tissue. Otherwise it was fantastic. The ribeye had a nice thick and delicious fat cap, and it was butchered well. There was a nice sear on the outside and the meat was cooked perfectly even all the way through. However I didn’t taste any characteristic gaminess that I would have expected with aged and certified angus. I might have liked a bit of that.

nick & stef meat — oops. took the pic a little late

This time I remembered to take a photo. Since I had the rib eye and the strip already, I went with the filet. It was definitely still a solid 9 for flavor, despite much of it being nearly a step overcooked. Bravo for consistency of flavor!

They serve this little mound of joy with your choice of sauce. I had the horseradish cream, which is thankfully presented on the side, though it was great with the french fries (which came with the roasted chicken):

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

Nick & Stef’s offers dry-aged, certified black angus steaks. This official certification is meant to guarantee consistent, high quality beef with superior taste. They have a sirloin (meant to be the strip), a T-bone (similar to a porterhouse for one but with a much smaller filet side), a porterhouse for two, and a ribeye that fall under this certification. They also offer two sizes of the filet (pussy and pussier). In addition they have a hanger steak, braised short ribs, and some alternative chops like lamb and veal on the menu as well.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

Portion sizes are listed as follows: 14oz. for the sirloin/strip; 20oz. T-bone; 42oz. porterhouse; 24oz. ribeye (bone-in); and 8 or 12oz. filets. These are good sizes, but the sirloin is a bit on the smaller side (though it is boneless).

Price: 10

The steaks are an average price for NYC. This place is close to MSG, so I was thinking it might even be more expensive than it actually was. The steaks range from $36 (small filet) to $47 (per person charge for the porterhouse). Our bill was under $200 after tax, tip and all deductions. The martini at the bar cost just under $16 (I threw down a $20 since Lawrence knows a friend and fellow meat man, Carlos), so that ups it a bit. Overall a fair price.

I bumped the price score to a full 10. Again we were able to use a $50 birthday promo, since my wife’s birthday was in January. On top of that, the prices haven’t moved too much in the 2 years since our last visit. Awesome.

Bar: 8

The bar is cool. It has a unique wavy zig zag shape to it, creating a very conversational environment. Located adjacent to Penn Station and MSG, it can get pretty lively with the after work and pre-event crowds. It can be quite fun if that is what you are going for.

They make a nice gin martini – the Beefeater they use is the special 24 kind, so the flavor is much nicer than the standard. Fresh.

On the third trip I tried the “Bloody Bull” – essentially a Bloody Mary with steak sauce mixed in, and beef flavor. My wife had a Manhattan that was on the cocktail menu, and it was mixed nicely. Easy to slurp.

Specials and Other Meats: 8

As mentioned above, Nick & Stef’s has veal chops and lamb chops. They also have a roasted chicken to round out the basics for non-beef. On the beef front, outside of the normal four chops they have a braised short rib and a hanger cut. On special were oysters, butternut squash soup, surf & turf (lobster + filet), a sweet potato fries side, and a striped bass entree served over a broth with butter beans.

Here’s a shot of the roasted chicken that my wife had, which comes with Parmesan and rosemary french fries. It was pretty good – though the breast meat was a little on the dry side:

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8

We had a few items: first, I had a half order each of both east and west coast oysters. The west coast were a bit more potent, while the east were nice and crisp. They were served with a really awesome mustard horseradish old bay infused cream that was incredible on everything. Top notch condiment. They should bottle that shit and sell the fuck out of it. The tuna tartare was just okay. It had a little bit of stringy texture to it, like the tissue between flakes of body meat were too over worked. We’ve had better elsewhere, though it did have a nice flavor overall with the capers, calamata olives and green peppers chopped up inside. We shared an order of creamed spinach, which cut the savory flavors nicely with a light veggie flavor. The green beans were good too – they were seasoned just right to bring out all the nice natural flavors, while still retaining a good snap and firmness in texture. My wife ordered the seafood plateau app for her meal, and it was pretty fantastic: mussels, clams, oysters, shrimp cocktail, lobster cocktail, lump crab meat, boiled crawfish, and salmon tartare were all included for under $40. The dressing on the salmon was basically the cocktail sauce (unimpressive – basically ketchup), but otherwise it was a really great item to order. For dessert we had the apple cobbler, which is served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. I was not that impressed by it, but I was also pretty fucking stuffed from eating every ounce of meat on my steak.

On trip number three, we had sauteed spinach, which was just right – not too salty or overly garlicky.

We also had the steak tartare. It was okay – I’ve had better, but it certainly did the trick.

We also shared a key lime pie. Not nearly as good as Gallagher’s. It had a slight bitterness which often accompanies the center portion of key lime pie, but we still ate it all.

Seafood Selection: 9

This place offers a good amount of fish. Aside from onion soup, there is ONLY seafood in the apps section of the menu. Shrimp, crab meat and lobster cocktail dishes, raw clams and oysters, and a seafood platter that even has crawfish and ceviche. In addition to the cold stuff they have lobster bisque, crab cakes, tuna tartare, fried calamari and baked clams. Solid. On the entree side they offer a mixed seafood grill, crab cakes, salmon, grilled whole branzino, yellowfin tuna and shrimp scampi. They also had a special striped bass item that wasn’t on the menu. It sounded delicious.

Service: 9

The waiter reminded me of a more cheerful, upbeat version of Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption. He was great and friendly. The waitstaff are mixed male and female, but all wear traditional white shirt/black tie combos as a nod to tradition. The table breads were nice and crispy: a roll, a log, a bun, and some flats with a spreadable butter. Basics.

Ambiance: 8

It doesn’t help that there is scaffolding all over the front of the restaurant, but anyone familiar with NYC doesn’t care about that, since at any moment at least 1/4 of NYC is covered by the blight of restoration/maintenance/repair. The interior is in need of an upgrade. It is semi-sleek and modern, dimly lit, nice, but not trying too hard. The ceilings feel a bit low, since the awkward ceiling levels have been covered over with a strange angled architecture that was meant to look cool, but instead looks more like a bad wooden version of Superman’s fortress of solitude. The music selection was great: Sinatra and the crooners, mixed with some 40s and tin pan alley. The bathroom had stacks of nice thick paper towels, but the door was positioned oddly such that they had to hang curtains to block the view from outside to give some privacy to those taking a piss at the urinal.

FINALLY – the fucking scaffolding is GONE.

But that interior… Man – I don’t like it.

NICK & STEF’S
9 Pennsylvania Plaza
New York, NY 10001

Flash Deals, Full Points for Flavor, Midtown West, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

E&E Grill House

February 18, 2012 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

E&E Grill House overall score: 89

NOTE: This place is now CLOSED!

My wife discovered E&E Grill House through one of those coupon deal websites (Living Social). It seemed like an interesting quasi-steakhouse kind of place, so we gave it a shot. I think the deal we purchased was something like $40 gets you $90 worth of menu items. Not bad! As it turns out, E&E happened to BLOW AWAY many of the so called top steakhouses in NYC. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality, flavor and choices available here, and most impressed with the extremely friendly staff.

Flavor: 10

Everything here tasted exceptional – apps, sides, entrees, and dessert. Here I will focus only on the steak entree. I ordered the ribeye, as I always do to test the mettle of a steakhouse. The meat was perfectly cooked to medium, it was allowed to rest properly to keep those juices locked in, and the flavor had a slight gaminess to it (it was aged prime beef) that added character. Perfectly seasoned – not too salty or overly crusted with seasoning. Just right. These guys know how to handle their slabs of meat. The central portion had nice marbling because the meat stayed soft and tender, it chewed easily, and was packed with goodness. The fat cap was a bit smaller than I had hoped, but it was so freaking delicious. I picked the bone clean. What a welcome meal after last night’s misery at Gallagher’s. That’s right – I ate fucking ribeye two nights in a row, and this place STILL scored top marks. The meat man is impressed.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

E&E offers two filets: 8oz (for pussies and women) and 14oz (a bone-in conundrum for people with more than a few inches of penis dangling between their legs). They have a hanger, a skirt, a strip and a ribeye as well. They don’t have a porterhouse on their standard menu (I took a point for that), but they still offer both strip and filet, so you can create your own porterhouse if you really feel the need to. Porterhouse isn’t really my thing anyway. But they make up for the lack of a porterhouse with the alternative selections (hanger and skirt), which were nice to see on the menu.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

Portion sizes are a bit on the smaller side. I think they are good for the money though. The filets are 8oz and 14oz (these are actually right in the average zone). The strip is a bit small at 12oz (lunch size at Ruth’s Chris). The 9oz hanger, and the 8oz skirt are a bit small as well, though deceiving if you see the size of the hanger on the plate. The ribeye gets close to normal at 18oz (bone-in). The plus here is that you get a great meal for your buck; every ounce is delicious.

Price: 9

The steaks range from $23 (hanger – nice sized portion by the way – bigger than you expect) to $58 (ribeye), so they are about right for the size, perhaps bordering on slightly expensive if you don’t have a Living Social coupon. The bonus here is that they regularly offer deals through Living Social and those kinds of websites, so you can basically get $50 of your meal for free if you keep an eye out for those deals before you go. Our bill, after all deal deductions, tax and tip, came to about $150 – sweet!

Bar: 8

The bar is so-so. It isn’t bad by any means at all. It is neat, clean, chic – not the traditional steakhouse type of bar. It is a bit small, so not sure if I could see myself hanging out there other than while waiting for a table. The place is adjacent to a nice hotel so there is likely some traffic from there, which is good for E&E since people will likely eat and enjoy the place after having a drink, or before going to a show. The bartender was really friendly, and made a great martini just how I like it (very dry). The best part about the bar is that they have a really awesome selection of specialty cocktails with bold new ideas and ingredients (such as elderflower, cucumber water, and other fresh taste bud popping flavors) in conjunction with rich, old-timey classic favorites. We tried the Violet Beauregarde (great name) and the Hendrick’s 49. Both were fantastic.

Specials and Other Meats: 9

This place has pork chops, lamb chops and chicken by way of alternameats. They have tofu on the menu. Come on, man. Really? WTF!!??!? I had to take a point off for that, just because. I guess it is nice that they are thinking of vegan losers too, but maybe I am just an old fashioned carnivore (with an appreciation for the societal good inherent in bullying). If it were up to me, vegans would be shaved, sterilized and destroyed! In addition to a good selection of other meats, they also had some specials on the menu. Three to be exact; first was an appetizer special of west coast oysters + caviar. Second was Onaga fish (similar to red snapper, hailing from Hawaii). Third was duck l’orange (breast and thigh/leg). We had two of these – read on for the verdict.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10

AMAZING! EVERYTHING WE ORDERED WAS AMAZING! First, we started with a trio of appetizers; the special oysters, the grilled bacon, and the buffalo steak tartare. The oysters were really fresh, and the caviar on top made the flavor pop. Instead of Tabasco they offered Sri Racha to kick the spice level up. YES! Sri Racha is awesome on anything. Put it on cardboard and I will eat it. The grilled bacon was the ultimate; nice thick slabs of perfectly cooked goodness with a creamy, zingy sauce on the side to dip into. I could eat that shit all day. The buffalo steak tartare was delicious too – very lean, and served with a cooling bone marrow mayo that added just the right amount of fat back into the meat. What an amazing flavor that marrow mayo had to it. It was like a refreshing, cool fat-foam, and served beautifully inside a hollowed out length of bone (where the marrow would normally be). The entrees each come with a sauce and a side item, which is rare in the steakhouse world. Usually sides are a la carte, over priced, and over sized, and sauces are an upcharge. These sides were just right. We had creamed spinach and grilled broccolini. Broccolini is my favorite veggie on earth, so I was psyched to see it on the menu. It was nicely grilled and packed a lot of flavor. The heads had a beautiful char on them that added a crispy texture to the normal snap of a nicely cooked veggie. The creamed spinach was very nice and creamy; not too rich but it still had a lot of flavor to it. Before I move to dessert I need to mention the sauces. If you are getting a steak, order the sauce ON THE SIDE. The steaks are so well prepared that you really shouldn’t cover them with anything except for the saliva that dangles from your mouth as you drool and wait to dig in. The sauces are good, but probably better for going into on occasion rather than with every bite. That is my opinion anyway. I had the “blue butter” which was essentially a blue cheese flavored butter. It was really delicious, but I couldn’t do every bite of my steak with that on top. I was glad I ordered it on the side. My wife had the tomato shallot white wine sauce, which went perfectly as a bedding underneath her fish entree. For dessert we shared a slice of key lime pie. Our waiter (Chris, who was awesome – see below) informed us that it is made fresh on site every morning. It had a great tartness to it without being too sweet, or “cloying,” as assholes on Food Network like to say all the time. Add to that the nice airy meringue and you have a perfectly balanced dessert. The table breads were interesting too; warm homemade biscuits with a smooth whipped honey butter. Nice touch!

Seafood Selection: 8

They only have a salmon dish and a scallop dish on their entree menu in terms of fish. But their apps feature smoked salmon, crab fritters, and mussels. Add to that the specials of oysters (app) and the Onaga (entree), and you are ALMOST at a top-notch seafood level. I think they should scrap the tofu entree if it’s not a big seller, and replace it with a nice seared sushi-grade tuna dish, like a tataki preparation or something. Sure – it is a little expected, but I think it goes with the chic and clean decor style. The Onaga was really great. The meat was succulent and fell off the cut in pieces that resembled lump crab meat. This Hawaiian fish is similar to red snapper, but a little more robust and meaty. A nice fit for a steakhouse, I think. It had a great crispy crust to boot.

Service: 10

I was greeted with warm smiles and a friendly attitude when I walked in. At the bar, I met a gentleman who was genuinely interested in his customers, and very amicable; he asked about growing beards, as I had a nice full one at the time. He mixed a great drink as well! Our waiter Chris could not have done a better job. He was extremely helpful with suggestions on dishes, sauce combinations, etc. He did an amazing job explaining how certain dishes were prepared, and was very thorough in describing the specials and answering our questions. His personal opinions on which dishes he liked best were helpful too, and our dining experience was heightened by his exceptional service and attention to detail. Overall the staff here is just on another level. E&E should be proud of them, and I look forward to returning for another fantastic meal.

Ambiance: 8

E&E is more of a modern steakhouse/restaurant. So temper your expectations with that knowledge up front. I typically prefer the old-school steakhouse feel, but I am not opposed to the modern style if done right. For example, Primehouse is one of my top rated steak joints and it is a modern joint rather than the old style of Keens (also a favorite). In other words, I don’t discriminate. E&E did a really wonderful job with the space here. It is modern, but not pretentious and overly trendy. It is just right. I particularly liked the paintings/photographs on the wall that were screened onto floor tiles and mounted together. Very nice! Everything is clean too – bathrooms included (small, personal, one-at-a-time deals).

E&E GRILL HOUSE
233 W. 49th St.
New York, NY 10019

Midtown West, Steakhouse Reviews

Gallagher’s Steakhouse

February 17, 2012 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Gallagher’s overall score: 76

Gallagher’s is an old-time New York City staple that got its start as a speakeasy during Prohibition (what a horrific idea that was). It is known for its window-of-steaks and hickory log cooking process. It has always been highly recommended. Tonight it got the Johnny Prime treatment. See below for the specifics.

NOTE: Gallaghers (no more apostrophe) was just recently remodeled and overhauled to be a completely new steakhouse. See my updated review for the improvements.

Flavor: 5

Unfortunately, Gallagher’s lacked punch. The strip had decent flavor, but the filet and ribeye were both under seasoned. My ribeye was tight in the center part, which means there was not enough marbling. I also had a lot of gristle in the fat cap – so much that it was inedible. That means the best part of the steak was essentially ruined. I also had a taste of an end cut of prime rib; the crispy edges were great, but otherwise it was a bit dry and over cooked. I suppose that is somewhat expected with an end cut though. Maybe someone who is a more of a steak purist would like it here since there is not much by way of seasoning, but I am also talking about a lack of basic salt and pepper use as well. Overall, I can put it this way: I have had much better steaks at local “mom-and-pop” Long Island places for half or a third of the price.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7

Gallagher’s offers a great variety of beef. They have all four standards. Their signature cut is a 21-day dry aged (in-house) prime sirloin NY Strip. They also have the necessary filet and ribeye cuts. For the slightly vaginal, they have a prime rib, which is essentially a slow-roasted ribeye. They also offer the giant burger known as the “chopped steak,” and a “sliced beefsteak,” which I believe to be the porterhouse, though I am not positive. Their website says that all of their steaks are prime quality and aged, which I believe to be true since you can actually see the meat in the aging room as you walk in. However I expected more out of my meat than what I got here in terms of quality, so I am taking points off despite what I saw in the showcase. There should be no tightness or gristle in a prime, aged ribeye that costs close to $60. I had both tightness and gristle, not to mention an overall lack of flavor.

Portion Size & Plating: 7

Portion sizes are good – not huge, but that is probably due to the fact that the aging process shrinks the cuts slightly (sometimes up to a third). The NY Strip comes in 14oz or 18oz sizes. There are two sizes of filet as well, 10oz and 14oz. The ribeye was estimated at 18-20oz.

Price: 7

Our bill for four people came to about $125 each, tax and tip included. We had a few drinks, a big sharing-sized seafood platter, we each had a cut of steak, we shared two sides, and then we shared a light dessert with some coffee. The bill seemed reasonable, even though the seafood platter was a bit expensive. Had the steaks been better, Gallagher’s might have scored higher with respect to value. Since the steaks weren’t that great, I had to drop the score here.

Bar: 9

The bar is nice. It is old fashioned, and the bartenders are nice gentlemen. They have baskets of home made kettle cooked potato chips lining the bar. They tasted like they were seasoned with garlic and Parmesan cheese – really tasty. The martini was well mixed too ($13.50 a pop for Beefeater).

Specials and Other Meats: 8

This place has a great selection of alternative meats. Pork chops, lamb chops, veal chops, roasted chicken and even a calf’s liver steak. Nice! But there were no specials in the beef section.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6

We had the seafood platter for an appetizer. It came with lump crab meat, shrimp cocktail, a full lobster, smoked salmon, oysters and clams. It was the best part of the meal, so worth the hefty price tag (something like $140). On the side we had creamed spinach and onion rings. The creamed spinach was sucky. It was watery, and it lacked flavor and creaminess. Skip it. The onion rings, like everything else, lacked salt and flavor, though they did have a nice crisp to them. The chips at the bar would have been a MUCH nicer side, and they were free! For dessert we each had an espresso and shared strawberries and cream. Basically, nicely ripened and sweet strawberries topped with a dollop of homemade cool whip. You can’t really fuck that up too much, so we figured it was a safe bet.

Seafood Selection: 9

EVERY appetizer except the steak tartare is seafood. Shrimp cocktail, fried shrimp, clams, oysters, crab cakes, lump crab meat, fried calamari, and smoked salmon. For entrees they have salmon, halibut, lobster, crab cakes and a fish of the day.

Service: 9

Our waiter was good – no complaints. He was nice, non-intrusive, and fast. He also answered some questions we had about famous guests and the decor. The bread on the table was semi-warm, and there were a few different varieties of rolls (everything, onion, ciabatta, etc).

Ambiance: 9

Situated in the upper Times Square area and the theater district, Gallagher’s gets a lot of foot traffic. People gawk outside and stare at the meat room, and who wouldn’t!? It looks delicious. The inside is old fashioned and traditional, with a full male wait staff (as far as I could tell) wearing bow ties. The tables are covered with red and white checkered cloth picnic table material, the furniture is all old wood stuff (some of the stools at the bar are really old and wobbly), and the walls are covered with sports memorabilia and photos of famous people who have visited the establishment. The bathrooms boast oversized old marble furnishings typical of the 1920s.

GALLAGHER’S
228 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

Filet Mignon, Midtown West, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

AJ Maxwell’s

December 3, 2011 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

AJ Maxwell’s overall score: 76

UPDATE: AJ MAXWELL’S IS NOW CLOSED!

I used to love this joint. I have been here, I think, four times. My wife and I used to get $20 and $40 gift cards in the mail from them randomly, simply by virtue of them being a newly opened restaurant that was loyal to new customers. I dig that. We were happy the first few times we went, but this review is based on a much different dining experience.

Flavor: 7

My buddy and I each had ribeyes – their supposed “signature” dish. We were both a bit disappointed. We experienced tough meat in the central portion of the ribeye (no marbling), and an overall lack of flavor or seasoning throughout. It wasn’t bad, but certainly not on par with my prior experiences here and steaks at other joints. My buddy ordered medium rare and it came to him rare at best. It was VERY undercooked. Bad. I’ve had the ribeye before, and it was better. I’ve also had the filet and braised short rib, which were better than average.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7

AJ offers porterhouse for two, three or four, ribeyes, all manner of filet, and even some specials – like a bone-in filet (the conundrum). Score for that. To top it off, they have a killer pinot braised short rib. My feeling is that they are passing off high quality choice for prime, or using low quality prime (if that is possible). There is just not enough flavor going on in the cuts – likely due to lack of aging, or lack of quality marbling. At least not like I remembered from previous visits.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

Portions are on the heavy side, which is good considering you aren’t getting the best flavor or quality. At least in this respect you get some good poundage for your buck. EAT UP and SHUT UP.

Price: 6

Too high. For $55, I expect my ribeye to be fantastic, especially when it is marketed as their signature cut. I’ve had better tasting ribeyes for $40 on Long Island. Know your role, AJ. You are slipping. For six oysters ($17), 2 ribeyes ($55 each), the cheapest bottle of wine ($??) and a trio of appetizers ($21), the total came to about $150 each (tax and tip included). Better off hitting Del Frisco’s around the corner for that cost.

Bar: 9

The bar is great, and the bartender, who is a regular fixture there (his name escapes me at the moment), is really friendly. He will get you whatever you want (such as a steak or a double espresso), and mixes a really good martini. The bar room is cool because it sits right along the windows of 48th street – nice place to hang, especially after a hard 60 hour work week.

Specials and Other Meats: 8

I’m always happy to see alternative meat on the menu. AJ’s is good with that. They always have a nice non-traditional cut, along with the braised short rib and pork/chicken/veal cuts.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6

Let me say, the six oysters we had were fantastic… but the fries were sub par (I’ve had better at the diner around the block from my house), the creamed spinach was blah (it lacked seasoning and was a little watery), and the mac & cheese was something on the boxed level. No crumbs, no meat folded in, no burned crisp to it… absolutely no texture. Over all a disappointing app experience (aside from the great, cold, fresh oysters [which were a little overpriced at $17 for 6]). The oysters even came with a nice little basket of hot sauce, fresh horseradish, crackers and other sauces.

Seafood Selection: 8

Honest – I didn’t really pay attention to anything other than the appetizers – they had lump crab, lump lobster, a good shrimp selection, and fantastic oysters. Viewing their menu online shows a normal type selection for the vaginal non-meat items.

Service: 9

Our waiter was awesome – good guy, knew his meat, helpful. That’s all I ask for. He didn’t push anything on us, nor did he leave us lacking anything throughout the meal.

Ambiance: 8

As a relatively new corporate type steak joint, AJ’s is a bit lackluster in terms of charm, but it is nicely decorated and set up. I think with more time it will come into its own, or start to develop its own character… but right now it is just a very plain type of space. It is nice and open, high ceilings, etc… but basic. The bathroom urinals are cool because they have a foot-pedal flush, so you don’t have to dirty up your hands anymore after they just cupped your balls. That’s always a plus.

Full Points for Flavor, Midtown West, Other Cuts, Porterhouse, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Keens

September 30, 2011 Johnny Prime 7 Comments

Keens overall score: 96

Keens holds a special place in my heart, and is easily one of my favorite places in NYC. The ceiling is lined with clay churchwarden tobacco pipes. I’m talking EVERYWHERE. I smoke a pipe on occasion, and I almost always use a churchie, so when I first found out about this place back in 2003 or 2004, I was flipping out. I went once back then and had a porterhouse with my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time. This time I was with a group of friends, so I got to taste much more of the menu. Interesting factoid – Keens had a fire and lost all their records of who owned what pipes. All they have left are the serial numbers written on them. Many a famous person had one in the place, including presidents and the like. My friend Joe’s grandfather had a pipe in there, and we inquired about how to go about locating it. Bottom line – we need to know the serial number of Joe’s grandfather’s pipe. Once we find that, we can locate it in the restaurant and stare at it in awe.

Flavor: 10

I ordered a braised short rib. I know, I know. PUSSY! But let me ‘splain. Everyone shared, and Keens is known for many things. First thing they are known for: they didn’t allow women into the place until it was well beyond normal. Second, the pipes. Third, the mutton chop. And fourth, the braised short rib. I love braised meat, so I figured I would give it a shot, since the other stuff on the menu was basically covered by the other diners at the table. It was tasty and good, but a little dry. That means it was either cooked too fast, or cooked too long. Okay – no biggie. My buddy got the mutton chop, which was amazing. Nice clean gaminess, thick as hell, on a nice bone, and seasoned to a beautiful crisp. The others at the table (the same rag-tag crew from Dylan Prime) split a porterhouse for three. That was hands down the best porterhouse I have ever tried. The strip side was a little tough and chewy, but it was full of great flavor and prepared/cooked flawlessly. The filet side was perfect. PERFECT. On a second trip, the strip side far exceeded the filet side. I would give it a 9 for flavor here, but the braised item doesn’t really count now, does it? The brilliant mutton and the unbelievable porterhouse make up for it in scores.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8

They have a great selection of some really nice looking meats. As mentioned above; mutton chop, braised short rib, the porterhouse, lamb chops, pork chops… Notice anything missing? THE FUCKING RIBEYE! THEY DO NOT HAVE A RIBEYE ON THE MENU! WHY!?!??!?? I will never understand. As my dad once said; “Everyone should have rib eye… even McDonalds.” I suppose they only serve it when they have it on special? Perhaps it is so good that they only do it on occasion. I will go back, and next time they better have it on the menu (on a second trip – STILL no ribeye – but they do have prime rib). Three points off what was an in-the-bag 10 if they had even a 12oz choice cut ribeye with no marbling whatsoever. Bad move Keens. UPDATE!!! On a third visit they had a rib eye. It wasn’t the best I’ve had, but it was good (8/10). I’d say it was about 16oz, boneless, and juuicy/tender. As promised above, I have given the full award for points here, now that a ribeye has made the menu. Alas, though, I had to remove some points again because on yet another visit the rib eye was gone. I guess it is only a once in a while offering.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

I think I recall someone at the table saying they thought the portion size was small for something – perhaps the steak for three? I was a little bit buzzed up, so I can’t remember… But the mutton was massive, and I thought the steak for three was huge, especially since I ate about 6 or 8 ounces of it toward the end of the meal when everyone was getting full. The short rib was a bit lady-like, but not TOO dainty. It really is a woman’s order. Come on guys… Don’t do what I did. Get the porterhouse. The creamed spinach was normal size to slightly small, but I think they split a portion up into a few ramekins for us to share easier. I am hesitant to take a point off because I am a little fuzzy, but my heart says take one.

Price: 10

Once again, Tom picked up the damn bill (THANK YOU!), so the meal was free. It was an effort to get him to let us pay the tip. How can I give anything less than a 10? To be honest though, the prices are fair and you definitely get your money’s worth, so a 10 all the way. On trip number two, steak for two, two sides, one app, and a couple of drinks came to about $80 per person, including tax and tip – totally reasonable. Here’s a recent bill for two:

Bar: 10

Not only is the steak great, but the bar at Keens is one of my favorite places to hang out even if I am not planning on eating. It has timeless character, it is classy, it is old New York, and it is always fun. Plus they make a mean martini with nice big, fat olives. And HOLY SHIT the scotch menu is only rivaled by the Brandy Library in Tribeca in terms of selection and quality. They sport five different laphroaigs, and three different lagavulins – those are my two favorite scotches. They just don’t make places like this anymore. Martinis run about $15 here, and Keens has their own beer (made by Brooklyn brewing company, i think) – its a nice IPA, not overly hoppy.

Specials and Other Meats: 10

Like I said earlier, they have everything except ribeye. This is simply an amazing place to eat – there really is something for everyone, even vegetarian assholes. I’d like for the ribeye to be a main fixture, even if it is a “special” or off the menu. No real “specials” to mention, but for other meats the obvious star is the mutton.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10

We skipped apps this time around, but last time I had a lobster cocktail, which was really well done. The creamed spinach was really unique; it has a hint of clove to it that really set it apart from other places. Plus is tasted really friggin’ awesome too. For dessert I had the cask strength Laphroaig that always nearly blows my shoes off. Potent but leathery-delicious. In all honesty, this category might NOT deserve a 10. I simply didn’t try enough items. What I did try was fantastic on both trips though, so I can’t take a point in good conscience. One a second visit, I had the bacon app, which was delicious. Not quite on the level of some other joints, but still really great. We also had the french fries, which I think you would be hard pressed to find better in NYC – they are up there with the best in town.

Some apps from a second visit – halibut tartare and littleneck clams:

Dessert – creme brulee and coffee ice cream:

Bacon – perfection!

The prime rib hash browns. from the bar menu, are incredible.

Seafood Selection: 9

Sole, salmon, shrimp and lobster. Not bad! Plus all the usual apps and shellfish, with an added selection of cured salmon that I was really tempted to try. I would have liked to see a meat-eaters fish on the menu though: maybe a swordfish steak or something good and manly.

Service: 11 (only 10 scored)

“But these ones go to 11” – Nigel Tufnel. If I could give an 11, I would. Wait a second… I can! This is my game, bitches – but I won’t count the extra point. I need to maintain some level of integrity; the 11 is in spirit only. Our waiter, Chris, KNEW HIS SHIT. It is because of him that Keens is an 11 in spirit. I even TESTED him about the history of the place. He busted out a really eloquent explanation of the establishment without even sounding scripted or rehearsed. He also made really good suggestions when it came to the food, and, for his young age, even seemed to know a good deal about fine scotch (they have a menu of over 200 different scotches). Attentive, polite, not annoying or prying – just an overall good experience. On another visit, our waiter Muhammed showed us that he knew all about the history of this place as well, and was really great – a true gentleman. As far as table items – they had these really awesome, large, half-sour pickles in a tray with olives and celery. The bread was really tasty too – warm, butter easily spread, etc.

Ambiance: 11 (only 10 scored)

An 11 can go here too; for real – and same with the bar. Keens is hands down the best ambiance and atmosphere of all the steakhouses I have ever been to. It is old, but not quiet and musty. It is vibrant and fun, but not loud and annoying or over-crowded. It is manly, but also really inviting for people of all sexes (women and trannies included). This place isn’t just a restaurant – it is a destination, a landmark, an experience, a hangout. The pictures on their website don’t do it justice, and when you are in there, you feel like you are a king. The history of the place is really amazing too. I recently learned that they have an actual playbill from the theater/show during which Lincoln was assassinated (see below), and they also sport one of Teddy Roosevelt’s taxidermied hunting trophies on one of the walls.