Category Archives: Other Cuts

Filet Mignon, Full Points for Flavor, Long Island, NY Strip, Other Cuts, Restaurant Week, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

George Martin’s Strip Steak

May 29, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

George Martin’s Strip Steak overall score: 94

I always thought Long Island steakhouses couldn’t hit the same high marks as some NYC steakhouses, but George Martin changed my view on that. One of several restaurants within the George Martin group, the Strip Steak restaurant in Great River is simply amazing. We went with a group of six for the “restaurant week” price fix deal ($25), but some of us ended up ordering off the regular steak menu. If you are ever on the island and looking for steak, skip Tellers. Skip Prime. Skip Blackstone, Lugers and 21 Main. Go to George Martin. He knows his beef. The same group of us (plus two more) went back for yet another visit, for a friend’s birthday, and we had another amazing meal.

Flavor:10

I ordered the ribeye. It had a beautifully seasoned crust, packed with tons of flavor. The inside was very juicy, and the chef allowed it to rest just long enough before serving. It was cooked to perfection from end to end, and the meat itself was top notch quality that must have had some really nice marbling, because not one scrap was left behind. The actual flavor was similar to the steak I had at Dylan Prime, but the cut here was bigger and on the bone. I also had a taste of the filet, which was really delicious as well; tender juicy and evenly cooked all the way through. My only regret was not getting to taste the signature strip steak. On the second visit, I ordered the 20oz partial-bone strip steak. It was perfectly cooked, juicy, and well rested as expected. My wife had the braised short rib, which was moist and tender. On the third visit I tried the filet, which was excellent; nice crispy charred edges and a perfect medium rare center. I also got to try the rosemary and garlic rubbed skirt steak, as well as the braised short rib. Everything is top notch here. You really can’t miss. On a fourth visit, the entire group I ate with said that this was the best steak they had ever eaten. It really is an amazing establishment.

A rib eye and a filet:

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10

They offer a bone-in strip, a bone-in porterhouse for two, a bone-in ribeye, an assortment of filets prepared in various ways (no less than five preparations), and even a skirt steak. Beef quality seems to be Certified Angus brand across the board for all the main cuts (not sure about the skirt, but it is prepared with a molasses soy marinade).

Portion Size & Plating: 10

The portion sizes were just right: the ribeye was 24oz, the strip was 20oz, and the porterhouse for two was 38oz. The filets were offered at either 8oz or 12oz portions, so there is variety based on appetite. The skirt steak was 12oz. All the steaks come with a side of delicious fried onion “shoestrings.” My wife ordered the duck that was offered with the price fix; a HALF DUCK I should say. Huge and delicious, crispy skin, succulent meat. The Berkshire pork chop is a manly 14oz as well. Big shit!

Price: 9

The price felt a little high at the end of the meal, but we had ordered a few drinks, sides, wine, desserts, etc. The menu prices are fair; ranging from $27 (skirt) to $40 (ribeye). The porterhouse for two comes in at $78. The filet was available on a price fix menu for restaurant week, which came with an appetizer, the filet, and a dessert for $35. Nice deal (Only $25 if you don’t substitute the entree for the filet at an upcharge of $10)! They also offer price fix deals on Sundays ($40 for four courses, one of which is flank steak + braised short rib). Check out the bill for 6 people at the end of a fourth visit, no restaurant week deals involved (still very reasonable!):

Bill from another visit:

Bar: 8

This place has a nice long bar, and it is tucked away in a really nice neighborhood near the Great South Bay. They have a great specialty cocktail menu, and an extensive selection of wines. I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to come and hang out here if I wasn’t getting a steak dinner, but the martini was perfectly mixed, and even topped with blue cheese stuffed olives. On the second trip we tried a bathtub gin from the cocktail menu – delicious! Pomegranate, simple syrup, and gin. Also give the black cherry whisky sour, dark & stormy, and Strip Steak Manhattan mixers a try.

Specials and Other Meats: 10

Great selection of alternative meats here, as well as price fix menu offerings for those looking to save a bit of money. They offer a veal chop, and they even had a few specials like a pork porterhouse chop. I didn’t order anything from the specials, but definitely happy to see the other meats represented in full force. I will be back here again in the future, so I might try something from here next time. On return trips, I’ve had the filet, the strip, the skirt steak, and the braised short rib. All were great. Below is a picture of the pork chop they offer, which was cooked absolutely perfect – juicy, thick, cooked evenly throughout. It is rare to find a place that does a pork chop this well. Most places fuck it up and dry the shit out, and it becomes a chore to eat it. The chef at George Martin is really awesome, and I was happy to learn that he actually has seen this blog! They also had some shellfish on special (PEI mussels), a crsipy salmon topped with crab meat, and a butternut squash soup.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8

I ordered a deconstructed BLT with avocado and fresh mozzarella. The description said thick cut bacon was involved, but the app didn’t really deliver on the promise. I was expecting a slab type, not the kind you find on a burger at McDonalds. On the bright side, the crab cake was fantastic – mostly crab meat with a dusting of breading for texture. The creamed spinach was awesome: it was garnished with some shaved cheese and breadcrumbs to give it some separation and individuality. Each plate came with delicious fried onions as well. For dessert we tried the cheesecake (not too heavy – lots of good flavor), the apple crisp with ice cream (really nice, warm), and chocolate cake. The chocolate cake was the largest of the three in size, with the other two being somewhat smaller (probably because they were price fix items). I had a frozen hot chocolate, which was essentially like an ice cream/chocolate/caramel parfait with a vodka whipped cream that was made using liquid nitrogen. Delicious. On the second visit, we had the braised filet appetizer, which was great aside from the bland and slightly sweet polenta underneath. The oysters were ice cold and really crisp. The string beans were a little bland, despite being slathered with blue cheese and bacon. For dessert we had liquid nitrogen espresso mint chocolate ice cream. INCREDIBLY SMOOTH! Perfect way to end the awesome meal. On my third visit, we tried the cheesecake creme brulee (essentially a cheesecake with a brulee’d top), the lobster & crab fontina cheese fondue (nice and creamy, tasty), and the chili pop shrimp (best app on the menu – crunchy tempura batter with a sweet spice kick). On the side we got to try the GM salad, which was pretty good, though not as fantastic as they make it out to be. We also had sauteed spinach and mashed potatos, which were both solid choices. Fourth visit: see some seafood apps in the below section, but we also had a flavorful butternut squash soup, the baked mac & cheese, which was really creamy and crisp on the top, duo of chocolate and vanilla creme brulee, and an amazing liquid nitrogen chocolate ice cream that tasted almost like frozen pudding (along with a complimentary birthday cake for the birthday girl). See the pics below:

Check out these desserts that we got FREE on another visit: strawberries and cream, due of creme brulee, and a creme brulee style cheesecake.

Mussels and clams app:

Wedge salad and oysters:

Seafood Selection: 9

The seafood ranged from the typical steakhouse fare (crab cakes, lobster, shellfish) to more interesting items like chimichurri rubbed wild salmon. There is definitely something to eat here if you are an asshole who doesn’t eat “real” animals. If you don’t eat fish either, then go hang yourself, because you are a fucking loser. On the fourth trip we had some great seafood apps; crisp clean oysters, amazing sauteed little neck clams, delicious PEI mussels, and some crispy fried calamari. All really fanastic. My brother had twin Brazilian lobster tails for his meal, and he said they were really good as well. My wife almost went for the salmon that was on special the fourth time we went, but ultimately she went with the pork chop instead. Something tells me she would have loved her meal regardless of what she ordered. Yes – this place is that good. You can blindly point to any item on the menu and it will be great.

Service: 10

Not only is the food great, but the staff is really top notch. The hostess Jenn is very friendly, always smiling, and regularly checking in to make sure everything is okay (as well as the manager). It is a real treat to find people that put so much effort into making diners happy and comfortable. Everything else was really good here too. Even good, clean tableware and a good bread selection with a cool, but whipped and spreadable flavored butter. Praise must be given to the George Martin group for knowing how to hire incredibly friendly, helpful, knowledgeable, and attentive wait staff, and an absolutey all star chef. Our waitress also knew a lot about wine and was accommodating with any questions or changes we had to orders.

On a recent visit we had a waitress named Alyson. She was awesome! One of our guests eats a gluten free diet, and Alyson knew SO MUCH about the food items served at GM that she was able to really converse with the gluten free guest about what could be eaten, which items/sauces to avoid, etc. We were all very impressed.

Ambiance: 10

Set up in an old home by the bay that used to be a brothel, George Martin boasts some really elegant decor with an upscale yet warm atmosphere. They even had a live keyboardist playing some piano tunes. In classic steakhouse fashion, the room is dim, but not dark. The walls are warm with pinstripe wallpaper and interesting old fancy-time 1920’s era photos of nude broads in the main dining room. One side dining room had a beautiful chandelier and fireplace; it looked like the dining room from the Clue mansion or something. A third dining room that I was able to see had what looked like cushioned red padded walls with mirrors interspersed. I later learned that area used to be the stage spot where burlesque performers would dance in the old days. The place is very interesting; art deco but modern, cozy and cool. On a subsequent visit, I learned that the restaurant is fabled to be haunted. One of our dining guests even said she felt the presence of a man in a suit standing beside her, and this happened BEFORE we heard about the place possibly being haunted. Creepy. There are tales of people being murdered, hanging themselves, and getting into shootouts at the former speakeasy establishment – really fun local lore that makes the dining experience more vivid. Also, lots of the original decor still remains in the place, like the old window shutter treatments that sport bullet holes and now adorn the fireplace in the “please don’t tell” room (a fourth, more private dining area).

Take a look at this photo of the room where my friend felt the presence of an otherworldly spirit. Do you notice anything out of the ordinary?

Some additional photos and notes from my recent birthday dinner here. My parents took my wife and I out.

They started us with a freebie order of pulled filet on cabbage with spicy pomegranate sauce. There were tasty little bites!

Here are some shots of the filet and prime rib (a Sunday special menu item):

And finally, as always, the amazing staff had something special because they knew we were celebrating:

They even knocked off a chunk of money from the bill. God I love this place!

GEORGE MARTIN STRIP STEAK
60 River Rd.
Great River, NY 11739

Filet Mignon, Other Cuts, Porterhouse, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews, West Village

Old Homestead

April 27, 2014 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

Old Homestead overall score: 81

UPDATE 5/18/2023: I came back with a nice Ride & Review, which you can watch HERE:

The Prime Rib was an easy 9/10 or maybe even a 10/10. Good aged flavor. The Porterhouse was small but still tasty. The rib eye was good too. Both 7 or 8/10. No real score change here other than to say that I would come back for that prime rib any time!

UPDATE 4/27/14: I came here with my dad, my brother in law, and my nephew for a quick lunch after checking out the NY auto show. There was definitely a slight improvement since my last visit, as I bumped it two points.

We started with the sweet chili fried calamari. They were good – nice and crisp, good flavor. We had to ask for the bread basket, which was kinda strange, but the highlight of that was the raisin nut bread. Very nice.

I had the 19oz bone-in filet, some onion rings, and the truffle mac & cheese. Big respect to our fun waiter Sarko, who guided me in the right direction to order the filet medium rare instead of rare. He explained that if it was boneless, then rare would be the way to go. However, since the bone inhibits the center from warming up fast enough, he cautioned me that some of the fat near the bone may not render properly unless I went to medium rare. It turned out perfectly. I was really happy with my hunk of red meat.

The onion rings were a bit too juicy but otherwise really tasty. The truffle mac and cheese didn’t have the truffle abundance I was expecting, but they were still pretty yummy regardless.

I still need to come back here for a proper dinner seating, as I feel like the experience would be a bit different for that service. But this visit definitely re-sparked my interest in the joint. Like Arnold, I’ll be back.

My wife, who is awesome, took me here for a birthday lunch after shooting some .22 rifle rounds at the pistol range. Talk about a guy’s perfect day! I thought it would be difficult to review a steakhouse based on the lunch menu, but Old Homestead basically offers the same food for lunch that they offer for dinner, the only difference being that the lunch menu is a little bit cheaper (by $2, generally, for each item) and they don’t offer some of the more massive steak cuts at lunch time (Shame – I probably would have gotten the larger cut too – oh well – their loss).

Flavor: 9

The steak tasted great. I ordered the gotham ribeye, a bone-in 22oz cut that tasted like a prime rib that kissed the grill. It was juicy like a roast, and had a little crisp going (more would have been nice). Great taste but one point off for missing the mark with not enough crisp and a bit more non-chewable gristle than I like to see. They let it rest just the right amount of time, so there was no blood loss and it stayed very juicy.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

This place has lots of sizes and cuts available for the four main steaks. I think I counted five filet mignon items of varying preparations, sizes and bone structures. Two sizes for the ribeye (not at lunch, however), and a prime rib to boot (essentially, a slow roasted ribeye). They offer two sizes of “New York Sirloin” as well as an au poivre and a top round – not quite sure why they were calling some steaks a sirloin and not a strip. Perhaps it is from the T-bone (the lesser porterhouse, not good enough to be called a strip when cut off the bone). They also offer a “Kobe” sirloin for a big price upgrade. The porterhouse is only offered for two, which is common at many steakhouses.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

The portions here are average to above average, but they also offer items for smaller appetites. The filets ranged from 10oz (still a good size for a filet) to 18oz (biggest I’ve seen), the “sirloins” from 14oz to 18oz (a little on the average side, but not bad), and the ribeyes from 22oz to 32oz (good). Plating was nice. Usually you just see bare bones stuff at steak houses, but here they went that extra step to make the presentation pop. The tuna tartar was served with some crispy fried wanton chips, and the oysters rockefeller were served on a bed of rock salt that looked like ice, and garnished with seaweed pods. Also of note were the tots/fries – they were served in mini deep fryer baskets. Very cool (see service section as well). I took off a point because the creamed spinach was a little small, though enough for two at $7, and the tots were not numerous enough, but probably enough for one.

Price: 8

The prices are average to slightly high for NYC steak. You certainly don’t go home hungry, so that is a plus. The prices seemed to match nicely with the size and quality for the steak, so no exceptional marks here, but there were a few bad marks. First the oysters rockefeller: There were only four on the plate, which may be normal (I don’t know), but they were essentially a dollop of creamed spinach on top of an oyster and then broiled for a few minutes. Nothing spectacular. I wasn’t impressed, and I think they essentially ruined four perfectly good oysters for the high price of $17 (that’s $4.25 each, dicks). The dessert sundae was pretty expensive too at $11 for what you could get at Friendly’s for $3. The martini was a bit high at $15, the beer average at $8. Our total was $204 with tax and tip included. As for the steak ($40, actually not too bad), you get a good slab of meat for the price, and that’s all one can really ask for these days.

Bar: 7

The bar is small, but very elegant – nice wood cabinetry and wine racks up behind he serving dugout, and a nice selection of top shelf potent potables (Alex Trebek would be happy). This isn’t the kind of place I can see myself hanging out for a drink or a bite at the bar though. It is essentially just a restaurant. The martini was made perfectly, however, so that is a plus. Also the bar has some nice basket weave black & white tile flooring – real classic looking. I like that.

Specials and Other Meats: 7

Old Homestead has a narrow range of alternative meats – rack of lamb, which is semi-industry standard, and a chicken item. It would have been interesting to see a pork porterhouse or a veal chop of some kind. The word “homestead” makes me think of game too, like perhaps venison. I think this would go over well in a place like NYC, where diners are more culinarily curious. Specials were not offered, but I imagine that is because it was the lunch hour. They DO offer some secret menu items that you need to know about in advance though, like the really awesome sounding burger specials. Look into it, asshole. You won’t be let down.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

Before we even came here, I knew what I was ordering because I looked at the menu online. I’d never had oysters rockefeller until now. I was always the kind of guy who ate them raw and raw only. Cooking an oyster is blasphemy! Sadly I have not turned a corner; I didn’t like the oysters, but everything else was pretty good. The oysters had some bits of shell in them, and the topping was just a blob of creamed spinach – no special care was given to make them different. My wife had the tuna tartar, which was very nice, served with avocado mixed into it, but it was not as good as Primehouse’s take on the dish. To go with the steak, of course, we had creamed spinach; it was just average: nothing to write about (though I just did). The steak came with a mound of fried onions, which were nice and crisp and flavorful. We also ordered the “Kobe” slab bacon, which was sort-of out of place based on the flavor profile. It was really charred, smokey and piggy. It had some rubbery fat on it, but it was really delicious. It just felt so “BBQ” that it almost seemed like it was from a different restaurant. It was tough to mix that flavor (which was awesome by the way) with the steak flavors. Tots were crispy and nice – a fun alternative to fries. For dessert we had the drug store old fashioned sundae. That was pretty yummy, and I found myself continually digging into it even though I was stuffed.

Seafood Selection: 8

This section of my reviews is starting to become increasingly important to me, since my wife has been staying away from red meats after her gallbladder surgery. Old Homestead offers a nice selection of fish cuts for entrees, like salmon, tuna and sea bass, in addition to the shellfish appetizers and basic broiled lobster and crab cake crustacean fare. The sea bass was a big hunk of fish (probably 12-14oz). I was amazed that it was properly cooked through without any over- or undercooked portions. It was bold (fishy) and rich, but it had a nice crisp to it on the outside, served on a bed of green beans in a dark fish broth.

Service: 9

The waiters are all male, wearing ties and aprons. They were attentive, nice, and not in our faces. The menu says that bread will not be served unless you ask. I wasn’t going to, but my wife insisted for the integrity and consistency of the blog. So here goes: the bread was not warm, the butter was semi-solid/cool. They did have two types of bread though; a raisin nut roll, and a ciabatta type of roll. One thing I will add here: the fries and tots come in these really cool mini deep-fryer baskets lined with old fashioned newspaper print (wax paper with print on it). That was fun in terms of plating/presentation. I guess the steak sauce can go here too. And no, asshole, I didn’t put it on my steak. It was delicious however. I would use that shit for BBQ ribs or chicken any day. It had hints of orange, tamarind, horseradish, molasses and fried garlic (okay we peeked at the ingredients too). Try it.

Ambiance: 8

Old Homestead is long and narrow, unlike other steakhouses that are very large spaces. The dining room is dark. The tables are all very nice dark jacobean colored wood, and they match the paneled wainscoting that goes all the way up the wall and meets with the elegant build-out ceiling that has a fancy painted pressed-tin pattern that is illuminated by built-in up-lighting. Hanging below that are modern, Japanese looking square block lights covered in what looked like paper or tightly woven burlap. A stark contrast to the cheap, ugly rust-colored tile floor that adorns the dining room. Old Homestead – replace that shit with some nice wide-plank bamboo flooring. Come on! The bathroom was unisex for one – neat and clean, but with cheap-ass paper towels.

OLD HOMESTEAD
56 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10011

Burgers, Filet Mignon, Midtown West, NY Strip, Other Cuts, Parms, Porterhouse, Restaurant Week, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Gallaghers – NEW & IMPROVED

February 20, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Gallaghers overall score: 95

Gallaghers had recently closed down, was repurchased, renovated, and now has reopened, returning a once-considered-to-be NYC staple in the steakhouse world to its former glory. It had fallen on ill times for a while before it closed. I went a few years ago and was disappointed (if you are curious, the old, defunct review is HERE). But now, with a new chef, decor upgrades, etc – it is BACK with a vengeance. I was totally blown away by the improvements they made, so I figured I would write an entirely new entry for the joint. Out with the old, in with the new.

Flavor: 9
We tried the rib eye and the marrow crusted filet. Both were incredible. I hate to say it, but I think the filet packed more of a punch than the rib eye in terms of flavor; probably because of the smashed, roasted garlic that was spread on top, and the amazing quality of the fat that was introduced back into the meat via the marrow. The rib eye was perfectly cooked, with a great sear on the outside that locked in the juicy pinkness inside. I found it to be just a hair under seasoned though, so decided to hold back on giving full points on flavor. Check out the pics. As you can see, the filet came with a little side of roasted marrow as well, and that was topped with a crunchy bread crumb crust to give it texture. Fantastic.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10
Everything here is top notch quality. I mean, fuck, you can see it right in the window as it ages. They offer a porterhouse, two versions of a strip, a rib eye, a prime rib, a chopped steak, and several sizes and varieties of filet.

Portion Size & Plating: 10
Portions are excellent. The filet is basically 10oz or 14oz, which is pretty good for the vagina cut. The rib eye was around 20oz, probably more, if I had to guess. Side items and apps were good sizes too, and not as overpriced as one might expect from a prime theater district location. Plating was impressive; simple yet artful and elegant. Check out the crudo and carpaccio apps below. Gorgeous.

Price: 8
Obviously the cost is a bit inflated because of the location; I don’t even want to know what this place pays out in rent every month. You get a great meal for the money though, so it’s worth the splurge. Here’s the bill – see for yourself:

Bar: 10
This is a bar of legendary status. It’s been around since the late 20’s. If you haven’t been there, please do yourself a favor and go immediately. They mix a fine martini, and the bartender Leo is awesome: a true master of mixing. I even tried an old fashioned from the cocktail menu and it was done incredibly.

Specials and Other Meats: 9
They didn’t read any specials to us, but everything is special here. I am really impressed with the turn-around this place made. Bravo. As for other meats, they offer veal, lamb, and chicken. They pulled the pork item they used to serve (no big deal), but they do offer some alternative beef cuts like the chopped steak (glorified burger) and the prime rib (rib eye for women). And I mentioned above the several different types of filet you can order, but I will list them here for you: blue cheese crust, marrow crust, pepper/Makers Mark crust, mushroom garlic butter, sweet chili rubbed, porcini and coffee rubbed, and cajun rubbed.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
We tried a few items: the hamachi crudo, the veal carpaccio, and the french onion soup, to start. The hamachi was crisp, clean and really nicely plated. The yuzu jalapeno dressing really punched it up. The veal carpaccio was so light and delicate. It was amazing. I didn’t care much for the beets, but hey, I loved it otherwise. The french onion soup was nicely executed. It wasn’t too heavy or overly salty, yet it still packed great flavor.

Dessert and after dinner drinks came to us on the house, which was just incredible. We had a sampling. We had the key lime pie, which was my favorite of the bunch, the banana cream pie (which came with a brulee’d banana), and the chocolate cake. They look every bit as good as they tasted. And for a guy like me who generally isn’t into sweets as much as others, they were not overly sweet – they were just right.

Seafood Selection: 9
There’s a good amount to choose from all over the menu. I like the nod to the man’s seafood steak: the swordfish, steak of the sea. Well played. We had a great seat near the open concept kitchen as well, so we got to drool over the shellfish display:

Service: 10
Impeccable. What an amazing group of people. Everyone. Hostesses, management, wait staff, kitchen team – all great people. Just to give a tribute, Nick & Caesar felt like family, had really great menu recommendations for us, and were attentive and genuinely nice guys. Nick is truly a work horse. The guy commutes well over an hour to get there, and I was happy to know he’s been serving guests at Gallaghers for 25 years. Awesome. The managers Charlie and James really went above and beyond and gave us way too much shit on the house and made us feel like kings. This place is really something else, and it is precisely because of the amazing staff that runs the joint. I also had the pleasure of meeting the chef Allen (forgive my spelling if it is wrong) as well. He was focused back there, but really happy to know that the guests were enjoying the new Gallaghers. His food was really delicious, and it was awesome that he let me back there to ogle his work station. Right as I snapped this photo of the coal fired brick oven, a massive tray of steaks came out to get fired up. My mouth dropped with joy. Wish I got a shot of that.

Since I have to mention the bread: good crisp bread, nice spreadable butter.

Ambiance: 10
This place is historic. The remodel preserved all that great history but gave it a modern, clean feel. You still know you’re in an old steakhouse, like Keens, but you don’t have that musty, stale, dark atmosphere. The decor is classy, sophisticated, and loaded with history. Check out the open concept in the rear, where we sat. You can see right into the kitchen, and it’s bright and clean in there. State of the art.

But wait a fucking minute… What’s the first thing you see when you walk up to this restaurant off the street? MEAT. GLORIOUS MEAT!!! Just the meat locker window alone makes this place a stand-out joint in a city flooded with steakhouses. Are you fucking kidding me? This room is heaven. HEAVEN!

And what review would be complete without a discussion of “the office” – you know, where the magic happens. Clean, over-sized urinals, because, lets face it, men who dine here have over-sized cocks. Fine marble everywhere, nice tile work. Cloth towels to dry your hands after. Nice.

My wife and I also came in with my parents for restaurant week, January 2016. Well, I ordered a strip from the regular menu, but everyone else ordered off the price fix lunch menu. Here’s my steak – absolute perfection, and very good butchering/trimming – ZERO GRISTLE! This was a 10/10.

I grabbed one of my mom’s eggs… which I suppose I did as a sperm as well, some 38 years ago… but this time instead of burrowing my head into it, I put it on top of my steak:

I also put down some fries with it, and then ate bacon for dessert.

Okay so the main reason for this update is the restaurant week deal. For $25 you get an app/salad, an entree and a dessert. My wife got a wedge salad, lamb chops and cheesecake. Great price!

For $10 more you can get a 10oz filet, which is still a great deal, but they do also offer a sliced filet with peppers and onions for the same $25 price point. I guess it is smaller.

My mom got the split pea and ham soup to start, and prime rib hash browns with poached eggs for her entree:

The table started with this new chilled octopus salad too, served with onions and tomatoes. Very tender, but it still had a great char on the outside.

UPDATE 6/2/18

Prime Rib: 9/10

Porterhouse: 8/10

I also took down their monster veal parm. This thing is massive.

While I prefer the parms at many other places, there’s something to be said about the sheer size of this thing. It was probably about 32oz.

Veal Chop: 9/10

Burger

This could be a star. The patty has some of the most dry aged flavor I’ve ever had on a burger. It just needed a better bun to hold up to the juices and thickness of the burger, and it also needed more salt. Available only at lunch time.

Prime Rib Sandwich

This is awesome. Available only at lunch time.

GALLAGHER’S
228 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

American, Commentary, Long Island, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Other Cuts, Restaurant Reviews

Where The Buffalo Roam

June 17, 2013 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

I recently became aware that Long Island has a thriving buffalo ranch out in Riverhead called North Quarter Farm. When I started digging around online about it, I came across a few articles written over the last 10 or 15 years that championed the effort. See the NY Times Article and the Long Island Press Article. I learned that the farm owners also have a steakhouse-type restaurant called Tweeds, run by the husband of the bison ranch team, where they proudly feature many items that derive from bison (buffalo mozz, buffalo hanger steak, buffalo rib eye, buffalo reuben sandwich, etc). There’s even a second restaurant, right next door and run by the wife in the farm team, called Dark Horse. This place is more of a casual bar type of place, with a modern decor and music selection, featuring items like buffalo pate and buffalo pastrami sandwiches. I inquired about whether they use the actual buffalo from the farm in the restaurants. The answer was no (with the exception of the “ground steak” used to make the bison burgers at Dark Horse). Unfortunately their bison must go out to PA to be USDA certified before they can be slaughtered and cooked up into delicious food. But I thought it was cool that they put as much buffalo meat onto the menu as possible to pay tribute to their ranch business. They even offer buffalo meat cuts (steaks of all kinds, pate, chopped meat, etc) to buy and take home for your own cooking adventures.

So my wife and I decided to take a drive out there to try the food and to see the farm. We settled on eating at Tweeds, since we liked the interior better and it was a little more quiet. Since we ordered from the lunch menu I couldn’t realistically give the place a full review here, but I thought it was worth mentioning in a commentary with some photos. The place was beautiful inside, rich with local history and an old timey atmosphere. Apparently the giant bison head on the wall beside the bar is the actual last bison that Teddy Roosevelt ever hunted. Pretty cool. The service was excellent; our waitress Janine was really nice, helpful, and sweet. They had a great selection of German beers on tap and in bottles, and the food was fucking delicious. We started with a bison skewer and a couple of beers. The meat was juicy and tender; cooked just right. For my entree I had a bison hanger steak. It too was perfectly cooked, juicy, and delicious. It came with a peppercorn cognac cream sauce that I could drink by the gallon. So good. My wife had the corned bison Reuben sandwich. Just like a regular corned beef Reuben, but with corned bison. It was incredible, and served with some big sliced pickles. Both of our meals came with potato wedges, deep fried with the skin still on for a really delicious, crispy, homemade pile of steak fries. Needless to say we will definitely be going back here for a proper dinner, where I can sink my teeth into a buffalo rib eye (it wasn’t on the lunch menu).

Scroll down for pics of our food, and for pics of the buffalo at the farm. The bison were right along the fence for a bit, so I got a few close up shots before they walked away. We even had the pleasure of seeing some of the bison “wallowing,” or rolling themselves in a shallow dirt spot, covering themselves in dust.

FOOD PICS:

BUFFALO RANCH PICS:

TWEED’S
17 E. Main St.
Riverhead, NY 11901

Midtown West, Other Cuts, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Tad’s Steakhouse (for real)

April 2, 2013 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Tad’s Steakhouse (W. 50th Street) overall score: 35

NOTE: THIS PLACE WILL BE CLOSED AS OF JANUARY 2020

Now that I successfully fucked up your whole shit with an incredible April Fools Day joke, here is the REAL review of Tad’s. I apologize in advance for vulgarity, and for the fact that there is no official Tad’s website for me to provide you. Quality!

Flavor: 5

Surprisingly enough, the steak DID have flavor. I was baffled by this, as the steak was slapped onto the grill with absolutely no seasoning whatsoever. I guess the grill itself imparted some leftover flavors from whatever else was on it before. I had the “cowboy,” which was a thin slice of ribeye, somehwere between 1/4 inch thick and 3/8 inches thick. It had veins of gristle throughout, some flecks of bone fragment, but overall I was able to eat about 70% of it. My buddy had the strip, which was similar in thickness, flavor, and edibility, though his was a little under cooked from the medium that we both ordered (yes – they actually do ask how you want it cooked).

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 5

The quality here is choice at best, and I am suspect that it is even choice to begin with – but let’s say for argument’s sake that is IS choice. Good. Now, I don’t mind that when it is done right. Here, they simply grill over an open flame, so not too much that can go wrong other than quality and seasoning issues. The cuts are very thin, with lots of fat/gristle. I was happy to see that the bones were generally left in, which imparts a bit more flavor, but at this point we are talking about a difference between dog shit and cat shit. So why split hairs? They do have what they call strip or sirloin, a cowboy (rib steak), something that attempts to pass muster as a filet or tenderloin, as well as a t-bone.

Portion Size & Plating: 5

The plating is dinner style, meaning you get your sides and veggies right there included with your meal, slapped on the plate like a soggy old tit flapping in the wind against a bony chest. I suppose if you were to eat everything on your plate, regardless of how horrific it is, you will be full. Your body might punish you later though. They do offer several different sizes for the various steaks, so it all depends on how sick you want to get.

Price: 5

I can think of better ways to spend $10 for lunch, but you do get a lot of shit (nearly literal) for your money. The $10 gets you a steak, potato or rice side, and a salad. It is actually supposed to be $8.25, but we were charged 80 cents for sauteed onions without our knowledge – classic upcharge move! They asked if we wanted them, as if it were part of the whole gravy, butter and au jus topping selection. But it was not. It was 80 extra cents for a pile of onions I didn’t touch other than to taste one or two slivers.

Bar: 1

There is no bar, but they did sell beer in the fridge, so I left a point on the board for that.

Specials and Other Meats: 5

Tad’s has variety! You can mix and match a lot of stuff to make your meal into a special, and they have numbered meal selections like a Chinese restaurant to boot. For other meats they have ribs, roasted chicken, and pork chops.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 1

We started with the standard side salad, which was crisp, cold, and topped with horrible dressing. Then we moved on to our potatoes. The mashed were out of a box/powdered. Horrible. My buddy went with a baked potato – that was the smart choice. The sauteed onions were terrible too; soggy and grease-laden, with an odd, translucent, glistening, pinkish-red hue to them. Needless to say we skipped dessert.

Seafood Selection: 1

No seafood on the menu, other than fried shrimp. One point! And that’s that.

Service: 6

The guy at the grill was nice, but he completely forgot that my buddy and I ordered two different pieces of meat. When I alerted him to this as he was plating up our sides, he insisted that both meats were the same. They weren’t – I know. Anyway, my buddy and I had to swap steaks at our seat. This section would be a bust if not for the wonderful lady who told us to leave our trays at the end of the meal and she would clean up the table for us. Solid!

Ambiance: 1

This place is hot inside, and similar to a McDonalds or Sizzler. Obviously you need to know what you are getting into before you dine at this kind of establishment, preferably while shit-bag wasted to the point of delerium. That might actually be kinda fun.

TAD’S STEAKS
761 7th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Filet Mignon, Flash Deals, Midtown West, Other Cuts, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Desmond’s Steakhouse

March 10, 2013 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Desmond’s Steakhouse overall score: 88

UPDATE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!

Flavor: 8

Desmond’s did a great job getting a crispy sear on most of the cuts we ordered, locking in the juiciness. I had the cowboy ribeye, which was tasty, but lacked a little seasoning. It was also 2-steps undercooked from what I ordered (I ordered medium and it came rare), so that’s why the score seems a bit low (7/10 for rib eye). The undercooking didn’t bother me too much, but a ribeye needs some heat for that nice fat to melt away properly. If you want to order your steak rare because you feel like you aren’t supposed to cook the meat, then order a filet. But unless the beef is serious kobe or wagyu quality, you should not feel funny ordering anything medium. On the other hand, the others in our party enjoyed their steaks very much, so that balanced it out better. The steaks all come with a complimentary sauce on the side. I tried the horseradish cream, but it was a little thicker and heavier than I had anticipated, and not “horseradishy” enough, so I didn’t dive into it all that much. Some of the other sauces were better though. During a second visit with a Gilt discount, we had the 8oz filet and 16oz sirloin. Both were delicious and well seasoned. The filet was a bit overcooked (7/10), but the sirloin was perfect (10/10). I added a point here after that better experience.

sirloin (top), filet (bottom) with sauteed spinach and mac & cheese

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

They hit everything that is required here. They have a NY sirloin (which is their strip), they have a t-bone, a porterhouse for two, a boneless ribeye, a cowboy ribeye (bone in), and a filet (which they don’t even put into the red box on their menu that lists the steak cuts – awesome – it’s a reminder that a filet is not a real steak, but, instead, something for women). The menu says that all meats are aged and grain fed, and of prime quality.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was 24oz, bone in; but the regular ribeye was a boneless 20oz. As such, you might get more meat for your buck by ordering the boneless cut. They offer the strip in two sizes: 12oz and 16oz. The t-bone is 20oz. The porterhouse is 48oz for two. And the filet comes in 8 or 14oz portions. Those are good-sized slabs of meat. Plating was basic: beef + plate + complimentary sauce (either on the side of right on top). Aside from the steak sizes, everything else was pretty big too. The wedge salad was enough to give all 6 of us a try, the tomato salad was huge, and the sides were good too. Most impressive was the seafood plateau, which, for $49, was a huge bargain.

Price: 8

Prices here range from upper $40s to mid-$50s. I thought my steak was a little overpriced at $56, but not a deterrent. If I go back, I will most likely order the regular ribeye or try some other cuts and save on cash in the process. The seafood platter here is an incredible buy. For $49 you get so much shit from the sea – awesome. Check out the full monetary damage below.

On a second visit we used a Gilt meal deal coupon. Regularly priced at $99, dinner came with a bottle of wine, an app to share for two, two steaks (limited selections), two sides, and a dessert to share. My wife got that deal for $75 with a coupon code on the Gilt website. Sweet!

Bar: 9

The bar here is really awesome, and I can definitely see it being a good place to hang out. There is a massive wrap-around, marble-topped bar, and the bartender Danny mixes some incredible cocktails. Great guy. They also have these really great cheese-baked bread sticks to nibble on while you sip. The martini was made just right, and was topped with delicious pitted castelvetranos. My favorite. Only thing missing here at the bar is a street view.

Specials and Other Meats: 9

I didn’t pay much attention to the specials, but the waiter did read off a few (fish and pasta if I recall?). As far as alternative meats goes, they have braised lamb AND rack of lamb, short ribs, veal, and chicken. A wide selection! Only thing missing is pork, but you should be eating bacon in the appetizer round anyway.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8

All the sides and apps we had were good. We started with a wedge salad (great chunks of thick bacon are involved – a must have). We also did a dozen east coast oysters. They were basic – good and crisp, creamy – and that’s all you can ask for, aside from Tabasco sauce. The tomato salad was huge and came with both thick slices of beefsteak tomatoes and sliced marinated grape tomatoes. The mozzarella that came with it was really great too – soft, hand-made, delicious. All it needed was some charred onion. We also chowed on the slab bacon app as well. It was different from what you would expect, but really good. At a steak joint you usually get a legit slab of bacon – basically breakfast but extra thick. But here, it was sliced in the opposite direction, no grease or fat at all, and served with an interesting apple sauce underneath. Great, but completely unexpected – also a bit small. There was also some chowing on creamed spinach (basic – nothing off the charts or memorable to me), “exotic” mushrooms (which, to me, looked like hen of woods or cloud ears – more earthy than your tyical buttons or shitakes), and hash potatoes. For dessert my wife and I shared an espresso creme brulee, which was tasty, but in some parts the sugar brulee on top was too burnt. On a second visit with a Gilt discount coupon, we split a crab cake for an appetizer. it was a bit small, but tasty. We also tried the sauteed spinach (perfectly seasoned, and not too oily or overpowering with garlic) and mac & cheese (was good but not awesome). For dessert we split a tiramisu, which had great flavor in the cream portions. The cake/cookie parts were just okay.

Seafood Selection: 9

They offer salmon, tuna & lobster by way of “the sea” here. Basic. But the real star here for seafood is the plateau selection. The SMALL platter came with lobster (a full one), lump crab meat (at least 6oz), ceviche (at least 6oz), littleneck clams (6-8), oysters (9), mussels (4-6), and 4 razor clams (Whaaaaat!?!?? I was so stoked to see them on the plate). I can’t even imagine what the large one looks like. See the small one below, which was $49:

Service: 10

The service was incredible – really – fantastic. The staff took this score from what would’ve been an 8 back up to a 10. Our waiter, David, made excellent suggestions in terms of what to order, what to drink, etc. He even graced us with an amazing impersonation of Liam Neeson’s badass monologue from “Taken” when he heard us talking about the film (“I have a particular set of skills…”). I mentioned above in the bar section how awesome Danny was as well; really great bartender. The management was great too; genuinely interested in their diners, helpful, and informative. That said, it DID take a while to get the check to us, and my steak WAS very undercooked, but service was still excellent. Another minor gripe was that the bread was cold, and some even hard, but the butter was soft and spreadable.

Ambiance: 9

This place is really nice inside. HUGE space in an L-shape on what I guess would be considered the mezzanine floor. Only one side had windows (looking over 7th avenue), but it was still nice, unlike the set-up at Shula’s, which was also an elevated space but with NO windows. Nice decor with wood trim, big booths, marble accents, comfortable seating, etc. It looks like it has been there forever, even though it is brand new. Very classy joint too, with nice old-timey music and jazz on the speakers. The bathrooms were really clean – all marble – with great hand soaps and nice cloth hand towels to dry off after pissing all over yourself. We all wondered what this place was before it was Desmond’s, because we couldn’t imagine it being anything other than a steak place. No one seemed to know when we asked. The only problem is that when we went it was sadly empty (Saturday at 6:00pm – there until after 10:30pm). We were the only people in the restaurant, really, until about 8 or 9pm (there was a pair of people at the bar for a little while), and then only two or three tables came in throughout the evening. It’s a shame, really, because we had a great time. I hope they start packing out!

DESMOND’S STEAKHOUSE
156 W 38th St
New York, NY 10018

Filet Mignon, Midtown East, Other Cuts, Porterhouse, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Smith & Wollensky

January 3, 2013 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

Smith & Wollensky overall score: 82

HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE 50th STEAKHOUSE I’VE REVIEWED! I’ve been here once before, but that was before I started doing reviews. I remember thinking it was in my short list of favorites at the time, so I needed to come back and give it the old once-over, JP style. The verdict: not quite as incredible as I remember, but still a solid dining experience.

Flavor: 7

The flavor here was good but it lacked a little seasoning or salt. My rib eye was cooked nicely, but there definitely was a little bit of bleed-out – like that time of the month when broads start to bleed from their vadges. I think if there was more crust or char on the meat, the juices would’ve been sealed in better. They definitely let the meat rest properly before serving, so they got it mostly right. They DO have a steak sauce here that they pop on the table after you order your food, but it tasted more like a BBQ sauce to me. Perhaps good on chicken, but it would fuck up a good steak, in my opinion.

On a return trip, I tried both the prime rib and the cajun rib eye.

The prime rib was pretty good. 7/10.

The cajun rib eye was good too, but when compared with Greenwich Steakhouse, it just doesn’t hold up. 7/10.

Porterhouse: 7/10.

“Plaque Steak” filet mignon for two: 9/10.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8

The selection here is all prime, and dry-aged in house – so it is nice quality. You can taste that in the natural flavor, and that might be why they are light on the seasoning. Some places don’t want to tarnish the purity of a nice cut. They have five different styles of filet, four of which come in two sizes. They have single sirloin cuts in two sizes AS WELL AS a sirloin for two and a NY sirloin (strip). Then there’s the Colorado rib steak, a Cajun marinated rib steak, a prime rib, and a porterhouse for two. Last, they have “sliced steak Wollensky” in two sizes as well, which is another sirloin of some kind. That’s a lot of fucking beef to choose from.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was 28oz, bone-in. That’s a good-sized slab of meat on the bone – like Lexington Steele. I didn’t ask about the sizes of the other cuts. I’m sorry about that, assholes. Plating was basic steakhouse styling.

Price: 8

Prices here range from $45 to $54 for proper cuts of steak. The Colorado rib steak, which I had, came in on the higher side of that range at $53. It’s a bit high compared to other joints. Was it worth the money? Well… I guess. I can say yes if you are a purist. If you are like me, though, and sometimes you want a little crust on your steak, then you might be better off elsewhere for this price range. I did think the crab claw was over-priced, though it was delicious. I was hoping for a little more than one claw – like maybe an entire crab.

Bar: 8

The bar here is nice, and it reminded me of Keen’s a little, though not quite as incredible. It has an old feel, it smells like a bar, and the bartender is fancied up with some nice attire and even has an Irish accent. The martini was made perfectly, and came with three unpitted castelvetrano olives instead of your normal bullshit cocktail olives. Very nice – almost worth the $14 you pay for it (before tax & tip). I will be honest though – I hate NYC’s east side, bottom to top, but especially midtown. I never hang out there, and I most likely wouldn’t go there just for the bar unless I lived in that area (which I would never do). So there you have it.

Specials and Other Meats: 8

Our waiter didn’t read us any specials, so I was assuming there were none… until we overheard another waiter take a surf & turf order. I have a feeling my wife might have ordered that had we known about it. It wasn’t on the menu if it was a special – I’ll chalk that up to a service mishap. For other meats, they had braised short rib, lamb chops (which my wife ordered), roasted veal chops, and lemon pepper chicken. The lamb chops were thick and juicy, and cooked nicely – not too gamy. They came with an utterly horrific mint jelly (on the side, thank God), which tasted like melted mint gumdrops – those big, granulated sugar covered ones that you get from a crystal candy dish at your dead grandmother’s house. Mildly reminiscent of tooth paste. Fuck that shit.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

To start, I had the colossal Florida stone crab, which to my dismay was just a claw and not a full crab. It was absolutely delicious though. My wife had the famous split pea soup, which was very smooth and tasty, but ultimately nothing to rave about. On the side we had creamed spinach. I had heard good things about it here, but I wasn’t impressed. I prefer a leafier creamed spinach in general, but I am not opposed to the pureed type. Here it was pureed, but I thought it lacked punch. It was nice when you slathered it on your meat and took a combo bite though. For dessert we shared a disappointing slice of the bourbon pecan pie. The nutty top part was nice, but the inside was a little too gelatinous and fake tasting. It just didn’t compare to the walnut pecan pie at Sparks.

Coconut cake:

Carrot cake:

Seafood Selection: 9

There is a ton of seafood here. In addition to a full array of shellfish and regular fish for cold apps (tuna tartare, clams, oysters, shrimp, crab claws, crab cakes, lump crab meat, lobster, towers and plateaus), they also had a solid fish selection for entrees. Three to thirteen pound lobsters, or lobster tails by the ounce, plus a variety of preparations available for red snapper, king salmon, halibut, Dover sole, and Ahi tuna. There is even a special preparation of Dover Sole Meuniere. But seriously – three different crab apps available here?!?? I almost made some warm jellyfish in my pants. Our waiter told us that the seafood “bouquet” contained 12oz of lump crab meat (Is that a fucking mistake??!? That’s HUGE!), six jumbo shrimp, and lobster (I’m guessing half of a 1.5lb fucker). As I said above, the crab was awesome – just over-priced for a relatively small portion.

Service: 10

The service was great. Well – let me rephrase and elaborate. The hospitality was INCREDIBLE, but the service was just good. First the negatives – and these are very minor, mind you: (1) We weren’t told about the surf & turf item. (2) I WOULD have ordered a beer to go with my steak but the waiter was sort of unseen after he took our orders. I still had half of my martini from the bar when we sat. My wife ordered a glass of wine, but I wasn’t ever asked for a refresher on my drink. No biggie – it saved me $8. Now for the positives: (1) They didn’t charge us for the pecan pie dessert. It was “on the house” as a gift for my wife, since we let them know the dinner was to celebrate her birthday when we made the reservation. That was awesome – especially since we didn’t really like it all that much anyway. It even came with a candle on top. (2) They have a guy opening and holding the door for you on the way out, and he will even hail a cab for you. I thought this was nice and classy. (3) I was given a hot, damp towel after I finished my crab appetizer. Let’s see – what else… the table bread wasn’t warm, but it was tasty – and came with a good variety of stuff to pick at, like the crispy flat bread, raisin nut bread, Italian bread, pretzel bread, and some sesame seed rolls. The butter was a little too cold to spread on anything though.

Ambiance: 8

The wait staff are all dressed nicely – mainly men as far as I could tell – in suit jackets. The decor was that of a traditional steakhouse. It had exposed brick in some parts, and a cream/tan colored paint job on the others, with old photos and artwork hanging throughout. It reminded me of what Ben Benson was like – even down to the bull head meat sign hanging in the main dining room. The bathroom was nice and clean, all marble, with shelves of thick hand towels for drying. Apparently one guy found it nice enough to drop a deuce in there, because he was laying some underwater cable while I was taking a piss. I should have taken a picture of his pants wrapped around his ankles from under the stall door.

UPDATE: EARLY 2019

I now have a plaque on the wall here, thanks to the fact that my buddy is a waiter and the manager remembers me from way back in 2013 when he was at Quality Italian.

It’s right above the entryway into the main dining room. Anyway, a few items to report on:

The lemon-pepper roasted chicken is absolutely fucking amazing:

That is a best of 2019 dish for me.

The oysters and clams on the half were excellent. Nice and fresh.

Another best of 2019 item is the strawberry cake that comes with an ice cream cone. Crack!

SMITH & WOLLENSKY
797 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10022

Filet Mignon, Latin/Mexican & Caribbean, Other Cuts, Restaurant Reviews, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews, Tribeca

Churrascaria Tribeca

August 13, 2012 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Churrascaria Tribeca

UPDATE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!!! However, the midtown west location is very similar to this location, so it can be read as a review of the midtown spot. I give the flavor 8/10, but despite this being a “steakhouse” I am not giving it the full review treatment.

One of the greatest things to do in the meat world is experience Brazilian Rodizio, otherwise known as “all you can eat steak.” For a true carnivore, this is about one of the best experiences one can ever have. Waiters come around with huge skewers loaded with slabs of meat, and they carve it right off onto your plate. Not only that, but there are upwards of 15 types of meat at most good places. You can sit there for hours eating, taking breaks, loading up again, etc. They give you a coaster that is red on one side and green on the other. Green means go. Green means meat. Green means eat. Flip it to red if you need a little break (because you are a pussy). Also – I apologize for not having any photos of the meal. I was just too hungry to whip out my camera, and all you would see, really, is just a pile of various meats on a plate (rather confusing). PLEASE NOTE: This place is not a real deal steakhouse like the others I have reviewed here. This is a special type of joint for the reasons mentioned above. Anyway – read on, dicks.

Flavor:

Everything here is amazing. After a waiter makes his rounds with the skewered meat and slices pieces away from the hunk, the newly exposed portions are re-seasoned and kissed with heat again. This is great because every bite you eat is perfectly mouth watering, juicy, well seasoned, and delicious. You almost never get an over-cooked or dry piece of meat, with the exception of maybe chicken breast. Honestly, I can write a 10,000 word review of how each meat tasted and how each was spiced and seasoned, but it would take forever for you to read, and all you would really come away with at the end was: “Okay. This place is fucking awesome.” My reviews are long enough already. My personal favorites were the flank steak, the garlic sirloin, and the prime rib (see below for all the options available).

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available:

There is almost TOO much variety here. I say almost because there really can never be too much to choose from, if it is all done well. Diners can choose from sausage, chicken (drumettes and breast), garlic sirloin, top sirloin, flank, Parmesan crusted pork loin, bacon wrapped turkey, prime rib, pork ribs, beef ribs, roasted lamb, bacon wrapped filet, duck legs, and whole roasted pig (with crispy skin and pineapple sauce). Fucking unbelievable. Now, understand that this is not a “sit-down and order a steak” restaurant setting. You sit down, and then you get delicious food delivered to you like a sultan. They don’t have the traditional four cuts of steak parading around on plates, but the choices and variety here are all perfectly executed. They may be using choice mixed with prime, but it makes no difference. Believe me. They treat their meet with great care.

Portion Size & Plating:

Here, you make your own portion sizes. You can have the man carve you 10 slices of prime rib if you want, or you can just take one slice and collect an array of different meat slices. It is up to you to get your money’s worth. Eat, then go down to the bathroom and make yourself puke so you have more room. That’s what the Roman’s did.

Price:

Our total bill came to $62 per person (tax and tip included!). That was for two Rodizio style dinners and two beers. Beers are only $6 here, but they are also only about 10 ounces each (smaller mugs, not pints). Dinner at regular price is about $60, but my friend and I took advantage of Savored’s deal for 30% off, so that was a great help to an already extremely fair-priced dinner.

Bar:

The bar here is great but not perfect. It is modern, sleek, well decorated, and it has a lounge feel. The restaurant is in a great tribeca location, so it gets hopping from time to time. I used to live in the area and I always remember it being crowded in the outdoor seating area and near the bar. They often have live music too, which is great. One of the great things about Churrascaria and Brazilian places in general is that you can order a caipirinha and people won’t look at you like a space alien. The caipirinha is Brazil’s national cocktail, and it is made with rum, sugar in the raw, and lime (though at Churrascaria places they usually offer a massive variety of tropical fruit flavors). It’s great. Try one.

Specials and Other Meats:

There are no specials… though you really don’t need specials when everything is so good, and you get so much to choose from without having to commit to any one dish. I think these places can be PERFECT is they just serve, say, one special item that varies each week. Maybe one week it is venison, and another week it is wild boar, or quail. As you can tell, aside from beef, this place has a massive variety of beef substitutes to choose from, so full points are awarded.

Apps, Sides & Desserts:

On the table there is a little piece of paper with about 15 different sides listed. These are all included in your purchase price. You can order as many as you want. We tried the fried bananas (delicious – almost like dessert). And yes they were BANANAS and not plantains. We also tried the black beans and the mashed potatoes. The beans were better than the mashed, and I, personally, could have skipped all the sides since you are eating so much meat to begin with. In fact, in all my times going to this place (this was my fourth trip) I don’t think I ever ordered a side before. People: it’s all about the meat. But if you want, get the fried bananas for dessert and ask for a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. They do have a dessert menu too, but we were too full on meat to even look at it. Also important to mention here is the salad bar. Free with your dinner is as many visits to the salad bar as you want. This is more like a seafood bar, so see below for more info, but the salad bar can be a full meal in itself. Everything there is great, and in fact diners can choose “just the salad bar” as their meal for a cheaper cost.

Seafood Selection:

The salad bar houses all the seafood that this place offers. There is shrimp cocktail, sushi (both rolls and pieces), calamari salad, octopus salad, shrimp salad, mussel salad, crab salad, various forms of ceviche, bacon (YES!), fresh mozzarella and olives, hearts of palm, all sorts of baked fish casseroles, stewed fish in various sauces, and some leafery. The only things absent were oysters, clams and lobster (unless I missed them somehow). I took a couple of points for that (and the octo was a little tight), but realize that this is a Brazilian joint; the fish you expect to see should differ from what you expect at an American steakhouse. Everything I had was delicious, and you can easily focus ONLY on the salad bar and ignore all the meat yet still have a great meal here. The salad bar is almost just as impressive as the meat.

Service:

The service here is really awesome. You truly feel like a king when the food just keeps coming around non-stop, and the meat is carved directly onto your plate. The waiters are all friendly, well dressed, and they carve the meat very professionally, with machete-like blades that measure about two feet long. They come take your plate away when it gets loaded with scraps, and bring you a fresh one for the next set of meat. There’s not much else you can ask for.

Ambiance:

The decor here is very tribeca. High ceilings, exposed duct work, chic, clean, neat, and industrial. It is elegant however, and very spacious (hence “very tribeca”). I was a little hot at first, but I chalk that up to the meat sweats. The bathroom has a nice clean rustic-looking tile job, and the live entertainment beside the bar was classy jazz (piano, light percussion and vox).

Filet Mignon, Flash Deals, Midtown East, Other Cuts, Steakhouse Reviews

Sparks

May 19, 2012 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Sparks overall score: 70

This review is based on my third or fourth trip to Sparks. I’ve been here a bunch, but not since I started reviewing steakhouses. See below for the verdict. In 2001 the NY Post called this place the greatest steakhouse in Manhattan. I disagree, vehemently. See below:

Flavor: 6

I had the “prime sirloin” on the recommendation of the waiter; their “signature steak.” I asked for medium rare, but what I received was a jumble of medium rare, rare and flat out RAW. I had to ask the guy to re-fire it as I got into the center of the cut, and even then it was under cooked when it came back – still raw and rare in parts. My buddy ordered his filet medium, and his too came back mostly medium rare, rare and RAW. This is unacceptable, and the taste was lacking big time (4/10). The filet bite that I did have was good, however (8/10). My “prime sirloin” was good around the edges, where it was cooked, but otherwise the inside had all the tell-tale signs of NOT being a true strip; so I was lied to. Not all Sirloin is strip. There were stringy, uncooked white ribbons of connective tissue, some chewy, dense areas, and lots of under cooked portions. If you are dead set on eating here, do yourself a favor and stick to the somewhat safe filet (it’s fine – just a slight bit under seasoned), and order it a step or two past what you normally like in terms of done-ness. On a subsequent trip, we did a filet and a lobster – no complaints, but I did know to order it medium if I wanted a steak somewhere in the “rare to medium rare” range.

sparks undercooked — still rare after the second firing

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 5

Another steakhouse without a ribeye on the menu; but no porterhouse here either!?!!?? What the fuck is going on? This “lacking certain basic cuts” trend needs to stop, otherwise JP will become very pissed. I could swear I had a ribeye here in the past… but maybe not. Sparks has all aged prime beef, but I think they may be using lesser cuts – in other words – they offer a prime aged sirloin instead of a real strip that is cut from a porterhouse. Or they use the “strip” side of a lesser quality t-bone (not a porterhouse). I saw shell steak on the menu here masquerading as a real cut of beef. Are you fucking serious? I don’t care if it is prime shell steak; it’s still a fucking piece of trash shell steak and not one of the four main cuts! I know places that serve CHOICE beef that scored higher, because they prepare them correctly and they actually ARE real steakhouse cuts like porterhouse, strip and ribeye. Is Sparks freaking joking with this? I suspected other places of doing it as well, and gave the benefit of the doubt, but I am not letting is slide anymore. Nope. They say “aged prime sirloin” instead of strip. Technically they are not from the same area in the anatomy of a cow! Go get some porterhouses, some real strips, and some fucking ribeyes for fuck’s sake! Like I said, EVEN IF THEY ARE CHOICE it is better! These people are acting like “prime beef” is the same as Kobe or some shit. I can understand a “Kobe” t-bone, or a “Kobe” sirloin, or a “Kobe” shell steak on a menu. Doing this is good because it is offering really great meat from a lesser cut so that the non-wealthy masses can try what really amazing meat tastes like. Kobe is special (even the faux versions), so offering a lesser cut is a great idea (otherwise something like a Kobe ribeye would be around $50-$100 an ounce). Listen – anyone can age a choice cut of meat to taste like prime in their garage or basement; but prime is not that big of a deal! I hope people understand what I am saying in this really long rant here, because this is a really dubious, evil, manipulative trend that is happening at very pricey steakhouses. Unless you know beef like I do, you might not comprehend what is happening (see my steak basics and cuts/anatomy blog posts from way back for a refresher). Anyway… Sparks also does a lot of “sliced steaks” on their menu. No good. Keep it simple, and keep it whole. I’m a big boy. I can cut my own meat.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

Sizes here are good – you will be full if you can eat your cut of beef, assuming they cook it properly when you go. I left about 4oz of beef on my plate because it was raw, even after the second firing of my steak. The filet, however, was a good size, and very tasty on my next visit. Keep it safe.

Price: 7

The price is good for NYC at $40 to $47 for the steaks, but the trade off is you are getting lesser quality meat cuts. We had a Bloomspot deal that cost $115 for $200 worth of food and drinks (excluding tax/tip), so that helped a lot. Otherwise I wouldn’t go here again on a dare. We were out of pocket $235, but it was really a $320 meal. For that price it should have been perfect, and they didn’t know we were using a coupon/gift certificate until after we ate dessert.

Bar: 8

The bar at Sparks is okay. I prefer the bar at Keens; it has a similar look, though here it is tucked away from the windows and in the center of the restaurant. The martini was made perfectly, and there is a great selection of rare booze. Down side – they don’t offer beer on tap, and the beer they did have in bottles was slightly skunked.

IMG_20120728_164843 — top view of my martini

Specials and Other Meats: 6

On special Sparks had NOTHING. For alternative meat selection they had veal and lamb. NO CHICKEN – I love it. Ballsy. But they should consider adding some real steaks to their menu, instead of shell and sirloin, even if they have to charge $10 more for each.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

When I came here in the past, the lump crab meat cocktail had bits of flaky shells in it, twice (original order and replacement order). The same was true this time around. The hash browns were very small in size for $9, though they were good. The creamed spinach ABSOLUTELY SUCKED. It was watery, not creamy, unseasoned, had a horrible texture, and just all around tasted like dog shit (because we all know what that tastes like, right?). The Caesar salad was delicious and a great size to share for two. The oysters ($3 each) were creamy, fresh and delicious. The best part of the meal though, besides getting up and leaving, was the pecan walnut pie for dessert. VERY good. On another visit I tried the sauteed spinach (garlic & oil). It was good, but lacked salt & pepper (Seasoning 101).

IMG_20120728_172157 — oyster app (gigantoysters)

Seafood Selection: 10

Sparks has a ton of seafood to choose from. On the menu there is sole, seabass, red snapper, and shrimp for entrees, but they also have a smattering of items featured at the top of the menu for some reason as well. These include halibut, salmon, tuna, swordfish, trout, lobster (three size/price categories, up to 5.5lbs – $90), crab, and scallops. Perhaps Sparks should change their name to “Sparks Fish House” instead of “Sparks Steakhouse,” because there are way more REAL CUTS to choose from in the seafood department than the meat department. Oh well. As far as apps go, they have all the shellfish basics, and as I said above, the oysters were legit. The lobster is good as well.

Service: 6

The waiter was nice and attentive, but no one wished me happy birthday (as mentioned on the reservation note), and he also flat out lied to me about the “prime sirloin” being the same as a strip steak. I call bullshit. Sorry buddy. You were nice, but when we drop $235 on a meal, I expect to be treated with honesty and served good food that I will remember for days to come (for the right reasons). The table bread was hot and crispy, but the butter was cold. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things in this meal. Also… Halfway through my glass of water I noticed that the INSIDE was disgusting. A yellowish crud-crust was clinging to one side up the entire length of the glass. God knows what I put into my body by drinking that shit.

Ambiance: 7

Sparks is known for its infamous mafia hit, which occurred right outside the restaurant… and it is decorated with the expected mafioso look. Dark musty interior, gaudy patterned rugs, wide open dining space. It could almost be in Little Italy if it weren’t for its immense size. It is nice and traditional inside, with all the waiters being male and wearing white tops with ties of some kind.

SPARK’S
210 E. 46th St.
New York, NY 10017

Filet Mignon, Flash Deals, Midtown East, Other Cuts, Porterhouse, Press Reviews, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

Club A

November 9, 2011 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Club A overall score: 86

UPDATE 5/6/18

I finally had the chance to come back in to Club A and dig on some steaks from the regular menu. The older review below was based on two meals where we used a Groupon and were limited to what we could order. This time I was here for some Instagram photos, so my wife and I tried both the rib eye and the porterhouse. Here’s how it went down:

Porterhouse: 9/10

This baby was nearly perfect. I only took a point because the seasoning was a hair too light. Otherwise the strip side had a really great texture, and the filet side was as soft as a baby’s ass.

Watch as this baby came to the table:

The photos and video make it look very overcooked, but it was just my light shining too hard. It may have been closer to medium than medium rare, but there was plenty of pink to go around.

We really enjoyed this.

Rib Eye: 8/10

This could have used a little more salt, and I only detected the dry aging on the edges by the small cap muscle, but we destroyed every ounce of it.

This baby was perfectly cooked.

Dead on medium rare.

We actually start with the steak tartare.

Here’s a yolk pop and mix video:

This was really nice. Very tender and flavorful.

Bread basket is on point:

Negroni at the bar was very refreshing and well mixed:

Great ambiance both inside and outside. They have live jazz on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and a private room upstairs that I didn’t know existed.

Loved this on the back of the menu:

And the service is impeccable. They even brought out a pair of mushroom ravioli, carrots, and mac and cheese for us even though we didn’t order them:

The dessert plate came out for us gratis as well. Look at how pretty this is:

New Score Totals: 86/100

Flavor: 8
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Price: 10
Bar: 7
Specials & Other Meats: 9
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
Seafood Selection: 9
Service: 10
Ambiance: 8

OLD REVIEW:

As nearly all NYCers know, Club A has been running an enticing promotion on Groupon since the Spring of 2011: $80 four course dinner for two, with a bottle of wine included (now $99 for the same deal in 2017). Here’s my review, though I kinda wish my wife stopped Geoffrey Zakarian on the street and begged him to cook us a private meal. She passed by him on her way to meet me.

Flavor:7

The choice of beef cuts with the special deal were either an 8oz filet or a 10oz hanger steak. Naturally, I chose the hanger cut, because I think it shows more finesse and skill to prepare a good hanger steak than it does to whip up a filet. Also, the hanger generally has more flavor and character than the monotonous and generally same-at-every-place-you-go filet can have. My steak was good. It had decent flavor, but it was not tenderized or aged in any noticeable way to enhance it. Parts were stringy, which means the fat was not allowed to break down in the aging process.

It came to me just how I ordered. I asked for medium rare, and I was given medium rare. This cut has a tendency to be tough, so a fast cooking approach with a slice on the bias or a slow, long braise is generally best. I’ve had a better hanger steak at non-steakhouses. 7/10.

My wife had the veal shank osso buco on our first trip here, which was better than my steak that first time around. I had originally given the hanger a 6/10, but after the second trip I bumped it to a 7/10. On the second trip, my wife had the filet.

This was tender and had nice flavor throughout. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare and had a good sear on the outside. 8/10.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

Club A has the standard selection of steaks on their regular menu, plus some special cuts and high quality meats like “Kobe” rib eyes and prime aged stuff. Perhaps my flavor review would be higher if I had ordered off the regular menu, but these were test visits. I’m not sprinting to go back, but I definitely would because I see good potential. Perhaps if someone insists, I will try it again.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

The portion sizes were good, and the plating was above average. The veal osso buco came with a mini fork to get the marrow out of the bone – nice touch. The hanger was pre-sliced, properly on the bias, and served with a watery gravy (but good). The bacon appetizer was a generous half-inch thick slice of heaven.

Price: 9

The price was great – $80 for four courses each, plus a bottle of wine (now $99). The quality didn’t quite exceed the value, but I guess they have to draw the line somewhere to distinguish between the bargain menu and their regular menu. Prices for regular items are standard NYC steakhouse prices.

Bar: 7

There is a small bar in the front of the restaurant – not impressive, but nicely set up.

There is also a larger bar upstairs splitting the front and rear dining areas, but these spots aren’t the kind of place you go to hang out. The upstairs bar seems to be unmanned, though I’m not sure if it gets more lively at night.

The martini was nice, but the atmosphere pales in comparison to other steakhouse bars. This is a neighborhood joint though, not a major steakhouse attraction, so allow some leeway. The waffle cut potato chips on the bar were a nice snack.

Specials and Other Meats: 9

I must say, the menu is full of meatery. Aside from the special beef cuts, they also have a prime pork chop, veal, chicken, sausage, and lamb. They’ve covered all the bases with various sizes as well.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

The bacon app was fantastic on the first visit, but just good on the second. Recently I’ve had better. It wasn’t too salty, and for the most part it had a good amount of fat balanced with the meaty parts.

On my first visit, the steak tartare was sub-par: over cut with capers, red onion and other doo-dads; it tasted yummy, but it seemed short on actual meat. Also, some of the consistency was chewy, like they didn’t trim the fat off before chopping. On the second visit, there was a noted improvement to this dish, though it seemed to lack a bit of seasoning.

The sides were decent. I liked the creamed spinach, despite it being a bit thin or watery. The mac & cheese was delicious, however, with an awesome cheese crust on the top.

As for dessert, the tiramisu and cream puffs tasted homogeneous. Similar textures (aside from the crunch of the profiterole shell), similar flavors… dull. The profiterole shells, I think, need to be dusted with powdered sugar right when they come out of the fryer. They tasted a bit savory rather than sweet. The chocolate mousse they sat upon was delicious, however.

Seafood Selection: 9

Decent selection of seafood, even a manly fish like swordfish made its presence known on the menu. There are good sounding alternatives for the vaginal.

Service: 8

Good service, attentive. There was an assortment of varied warm and room temperature table breads to snack on.

They ranged from sweet to salty. Butter was still cold, and steak sauce tasted like it was 90% ketchup.

Ambiance: 7

At first I hated the place. Dimly lit with red tones all over, typical framed photos of celebs on the walls, a cheap looking but pretty gas fireplace on the back wall of the first floor dining room, and cheese-bag electronic lounge music playing like we are at “Centro-Fly” from a decade ago. But then the music switched to instrumental funk, jazz and crooner… and we went upstairs… WOW – Beautiful view of the lit trees out the floor to ceiling windows in the front of the building. Non-traditional and small, but stunning.

On my second visit, the music was more along the “golden oldies” lines, and I still liked the upstairs better than the downstairs.

CLUB A
240 E. 58th St.
New York, NY 10022

George Martin’s Strip Steak overall score: 94

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Old Homestead overall score: 81

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Gallaghers overall score: 95

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Tad’s Steakhouse (W. 50th Street) overall score: 35

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Desmond’s Steakhouse overall score: 88

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Smith & Wollensky overall score: 82

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Sparks overall score: 70

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Club A overall score: 86

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