bills | Johnny Prime

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CALLED BILL’S TOWNHOUSE AND MAY FEATURE A DIFFERENT MENU AND CHEF.

I grabbed a Groupon for this place: $55 for a three course meal for two. Not bad. At first I was almost going to include this in my steakhouse reviews page, but after speaking with the waiter I got the sense that their aim was to go for American restaurant as opposed to just steak. They’ve trimmed the steak selection from five cuts to three, so don’t be fooled by the paintings of steaks on the walls – that ain’t necessarily their main aim.

Oh, porterhouse... How I love thee... Let me count the ways... — Oh, porterhouse… How I love thee… Let me count the ways…

I really liked this place. Great atmosphere, cool decor: taxidermy, framed old timey maps, and odd portrait paintings in a grand ballroom type of room with a massive fireplace and ornate mirrors.

The bar was jam packed for the after work happy hour, and I noticed that they even have a piano for live music performances down there.

So here was the menu for the three course price fix deal:

We started with drinks, and by far the two best cocktails were the lowlands old fashioned, and the Spanish gin and tonic. Really expertly mixed by the bartender. Then the bread came out – warm and toasty on the outside, soft and hot on the inside, and great smooth butter.

I had the roasted beets and my wife had the fennel and arugula salad with citrus. Both were really great. Mine was hearty, and her’s was light and fresh.

The entrees were both pretty much perfect. I had the peppercorn sauce strip steak. It was very slightly overcooked from how I ordered, but it was delicious nonetheless. The truffle herb fries were some of the best I’ve ever had. The addition of crispy fried basil on top was a great touch.

My wife had the Berkshire pork chop. This thing was THICK, and perfectly cooked. I’ve never had a pork chop like this that wasn’t dried out in some spots. This was juicy through and through.

Dessert was okay. I had a pumpkin cheesecake and my wife had a chocolate cake. The chocolate cake was like a very dense mousse; very rich, almost too sweet for me. It was a very big portion too – like a brick! The pumpkin cheesecake was light and fluffy, with a chocolate-based crust as opposed to graham cracker.

Here’s the total bill:

I definitely recommend this place. I will be back for sure. They have a rib eye for two on the regular menu that needs to be eaten…

On a second trip I tried both the wild Alaskan salmon and the roasted chicken. Both dishes had incredibly crispy skin, tons of flavor and perfect execution in terms of cooking temperature and juiciness. This place is fucking great.

The garbanzo bean soup was a little bit thin and light, but the smoky pork meat in it gave a flavor that reminded me of a split pea soup.

Dessert was soft serve ice cream. Simple but really hit the spot.

BILL’S FOOD & DRINK
57 E. 54th St.
New York, NY 10022

I gotta say, the burger at this place impressed me. I ordered a classic American cheeseburger, double patty, with bacon and jalapeños. Shit was awesome. I wasn’t a huge fan of the lettuce so much (dark green, wavy leaf bullshit) and I think the bun could have used a little mayo to shield the bottom layer from burger juice, but man — this place was great. FRESH sliced jalapeños, LOTS of cheese, and a well-seasoned hunk of meat. Almost perfect.

The fries were not up to par with the burger. I recently learned that they changed from wedge to regular fries, but they tasted nice with the cheese on them regardless. Onion rings were excellent.

Bonus: $3 “cold ass beers” on tap during happy hour, but ONLY AT THE BAR. We were literally 2 feet away, on a tiny high-top table that was right next to the bar, and they were going to try to charge us $8 for a beer at the seat instead of $3 at the bar that I could reach with my hand if I stretched. So we happily moved to the bar when a spot opened up for us. Stupid ass policy regarding the cold ass beers, if you ask me, but whatever. Guacamole app was decent but not worth talking much about here on a burger review.

So here’s the beef – enjoy:

I came back one night after a burger at another joint, and I put down a nice Chicago dog. I have to say – the Chicago dog is much better than the New York dog, but the New York pizza is much better than the Chicago pizza. And that’s that.

I don’t know what it is… sport peppers, relish (which I normally hate), yellow mustard (which I normally hate), onions, tomato, poppy seed bun… it’s like Zeus busted his nut on a bon and we all have the please of eating it and becoming demo-gods for a small moment of time. Perfection.

I also got to try this fucking delicious beer, which comes in at a whopping 11.1% ABV. Fuck yeah. Blithering idiot. I know a lot of those…