Tag Archives: hells kitchen

Crispin’s

My wife and I grabbed a Groupon for this place that scored us a bottle of wine, a shared app, two entrees and two desserts.

When we stepped into this joint it felt like we had stepped into a wine bar meat shop in Rome. The warm wood decor was inviting and cozy, and starting our meal with some red wine and salumi just brought us right back to our Italy vacation.

There were no offensive limits to what we could choose from the wine and app selections, by the way. And the meats were high quality and consisted of salami, prosciutto, mortadella and brasaeola. This was my favorite item of the night.

Our entrees were both good, but my wife’s lamb shank was the winner between the two. We were limited in our selection to items that were listed for $24 or less.

Interesting though – instead of a bed of orzo, as is traditional, this featured as bed of roughly mashed potatoes. They were tasty.

I had a pork chop. It was pretty big at 16oz, T-bone style.

It was nicely cooked and tender.

For dessert we did a chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream, and panna cotta. The panna cotta was great. Super smooth, light and flavorful.

Overall this is a good deal and I recommend picking up the Groupon if they’re still offering it.

CRISPIN’S
764 10th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Chai Thai Kitchen

My wife and I came in here for a quick meal after passing by for two years and wondering if it was any good. The quick verdict: it was!

We started with these sweet chicken and peanut dumplings.

DSC08704

I don’t mean “sweet” in the way a dude would say after waking up with an awesome tattoo after a drunk night out.

I mean “Sweet” in the actual flavor sensation. The peanuts had an almost honey roasted type of sweetness to them.

My wife nabbed this spicy coconut chicken curry noodle dish, which was topped with crispy fried “bird’s nest” noodles as well. Usually these dishes are way too “sweet” for me, but this was really good.

DSC08708

It came with rice (unless that was my dish that came with rice?), but might have benefitted from a hunk of French bread for dipping. But I think that’s more of a Vietnamese thing than a Thai thing.

I went with a dish that really jumped off the menu at me, because it reminded me of the fried whole fish we had in Vietnam that I loved so much.

DSC08722

The reason why is because of the sauce that comes with it. It’s fish sauce, spiced up with cilantro, peppers red onions and scallions.

DSC08721

The fish was fried to a perfect golden crisp, and the bones were pretty easy to maneuver for the most part.

DSC08727

DSC08719

DSC08715

The meat was tender, juicy and soft on the inside, and crispy on the outside – just how I like it.

Oh and one of the cool things about this joint is a nice pond up front that circulates water around and has little floating flowers.

CHAI THAI KITCHEN
930 8th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Uncle Jack’s (west side)

Uncle Jack’s (west side) overall score: 83

My wife and I came here to use a Groupon that we purchased, which gave us a five-course steak dinner for two for just $99.

DSC06868_2

Flavor: 7
We had the options to choose a filet and a strip as our entrees, so that’s how we rolled. Both came in at 7/10 for flavor. They were cooked properly to medium rare, they had a good crust and sear on the outside, and they were seasoned properly.

Filet:

DSC06893

DSC06919

Strip:

DSC06903

DSC06906

I think they just lacked flavor due to the fact that they were such lean cuts. As a steak man, I tend to always go with a rib eye, which generally has more marbling, more fat, and therefore more flavor. For this reason, when cooking cuts like tenderloin and strip loin, many steakhouses will be quite liberal in their use of butter. Butter adds fat flavor back into the beef, and it triggers all sorts of cum-inducing sensations that start at your taste buds and end at the tip of your rock-hard cock. I didn’t taste too much butter at all, so my dick remained pretty flaccid throughout the meal. I did taste soy, which was nice, but ultimately it competed with the steaks natural earthy and aged flavor qualities. As a result, the steaks were just a little flat, and lacked flavor depth. Most of the score here is for good execution on the cook temperature and sear.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10
Uncle Jack’s has a really great selection of USDA Prime and dry-aged beef. Top notch stuff. There’s an elephant’s shitload of variety in terms of sizing, bones, cuts and even some specialty stuff like wagyu and kobe. An elephant shits large loads. That’s why I used that analogy there.

Portion Size & Plating: 10
The filet comes in three styles:  puss-bag 8oz, 12oz, or manly 20oz bone-in tenderloin. I must say, ordering the big tenderloin here is not a pussy move.  A little kid had one next to us and I felt like a rimmed out gaping asshole for sharing two steaks between me and my wife that, when combined in weight, added up to his one cut. That kid is going to grow up to crush so much pussy that he will STILL be crushing pussy while he rests between bouts of crushing pussy. The ribeye is 24oz (bone-in), the strips are 12oz or 16oz boneless, and the porterhouses start at 44oz (22oz pp). They also offer a cote de boeuf 44oz rib eye for two. Everything is pretty much on the large side here, which is good, and similar to Lex Steele’s penis. They even offer some wagyu and kobe selections as well. TONS of variety.

Price: 9
Since we had that great Groupon, this was a bargain. While it wasn’t the best steak we’ve had, I still feel that we got a good bang for our buck here.

DSC06927

Bar: 8
The bar is perpendicular to the windows on the right as you walk in, but there are a few high tops along the windows for people watching. The location, 9th avenue and 34th/35th street, is not the best for hanging out, as it is close to what I call “the armpit of the city” (the Penn Station and Port Authority areas), but the bar does mix up some nice cocktails. Although the waiter or bartender got my martini order wrong (see service section below), it still tasted great.

DSC06872

Specials and Other Meats: 8
There were no specials read to us that I can recall (probably because they knew we were eating from the Groupon menu), but they do offer pork, lamb and chicken for people who have too much estrogen in their bodies to properly enjoy beef like real men with dicks between their legs.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We had baked clams and a crab cake to start.

DSC06876

DSC06881

I like that they give you eight clams per order (they split the clams up between us when they served them). The spicy butter and lemon breadcrumb stuffing was good, and the clams were whole, quality Little Necks, not chopped up cherrystones or bait clams that were then re-inserted into a clam shell that wasn’t its own. As for the crab cake, we loved the sauce in which it was served. It was like a reduced crab bisque soup mixed with vodka sauce. Very flavorful, and the top of the cake had a great crispy crust.

Our salads were next. My wife went with the farmers mixed greens. Some of the greens were soggy, wilted and probably rotten, so that was a bummer. Otherwise the salad had great flavor from the cranberries and pine nuts, and it was well dressed, so that’s a plus. My caesar was pretty standard.

DSC06884

DSC06887

On the side we had creamed spinach and mashed potatoes.

DSC06920

That pic is just a combined plate that I was eating from, not the full size portions. These were both pretty good, but nothing too stand out. I liked the potatoes better, which is reverse from my usual preference when it comes to these sides.

Seafood Selection: 8
There’s tuna, salmon, “day boat fresh catch” and surf & turf (lobster tail, shrimp or crab oscar with either a filet or strip). That’s a decent amount of shit in addition to the standard shellfish on the app menu. But if you’re ordering seafood for your main course at a steakhouse, you better have tits and a vagina, otherwise you are pretty much an asshole. Go home.

Service: 7
Unfortunately we had some slow service here. The staff was all nice, pleasant and courteous, but we found ourselves waiting a while to get drinks and order food. It picked up a bit after that, but it was slow to start. This was a little odd since the place wasn’t too crowded when we went at 6pm. A few other things I found to be odd or a bit off: (1) The steak sauce doesn’t come out to the table with the steak. You have to ask for it. We didn’t get sauce (not a problem, but I always like to taste it), and I overheard another table asking for it since they didn’t get it either. (2) Also there was no bread basket. Finally, (3) this time I ordered my martini on the rocks instead of up. They made it up instead. Not that big of a deal, but figured I’d mention it. I didn’t send it back, and it still tasted great.

Ambiance: 8
This joint is old school, where waiters wear bow ties, tables are covered in white cloth, and the decor consists of wood paneling, large mirrors, exposed brick, ornate chandeliers and a patterned tin ceiling. It’s a warm and inviting atmosphere, yet classy and elegant, without being pretentious. It’s a classic steakhouse look and feel.

DSC06869

DSC06864

UNCLE JACK’S (WEST SIDE)
440 9th Ave
New York, NY 10001

Wondee Siam

Once of the mainstays in Thai Town is Wondee Siam. This place has multiple locations, actually.

wp-1469817113253.jpg

My coworker and I came here, to the 9th Avenue and 52nd Street location, for a quick $8 lunch during a slow day at work. Each lunch special comes with a pair of vegetable spring rolls to start.

wp-1469817407427.jpg

Not bad. Good crisp, not too oily, but just a bit too temperature hot. Careful you don’t burn your mouth.

I got the pad see ew, which I believe is commonly referred to as “drunken noodle.” It is a wide, flat noodle, stir fried with Chinese broccoli and tossed with a choice of protein. I went with chicken.

wp-1469817547445.jpg

This was pretty good! For $8 you really can’t go wrong. The sauce clung to the noodles and chicken, the dish was not greasy, and the broccolini was cooked properly. I’d hit this joint again most definitely.

My coworker, however, might not be as keen on returning. He ate the pad thai, and said he shit his brains out promptly upon returning to the office. Oh well. I was fine.

WONDEE SIAM
792 9th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Holey Cream

Doughnut ice cream sandwiches? Why, yes… I’ll take one!

wp-1469817825307.jpg

Well, they’re not quite what I expected. Yes, it is ice cream between a doughnut that has been sliced in half like a bagel, but it is just three scoops plopped on top of a plain doughnut, then frosted and topped with sprinkles (you can choose the ice cream flavors, frosting flavor – chocolate, vanilla or strawberry – and the topping).

I was hoping for something like a Chipwich, where it actually looks and eats like a sandwich. This was essentially just a doughnut with ice cream. Oh well. Good idea, not so good execution.

wp-1469816797220.jpg

They also serve a variety of cookies, cakes, brownies and doughnuts here as well, if ice cream isn’t your thing.

wp-1469817699827.jpg

UPDATE 8/24/17

Check out this beauty of a sandwich that my wife and I grabbed for a dessert one Sunday after brunch. So tasty.

HOLEY CREAM
796 9th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Otto’s Tacos

My wife and I tried one of each taco here, along with the masa fries. You should skip the mushroom taco, unless you’re a vegetarian douche. It just lacks punch and flavor. The carne asada, carnitas, chicken and shrimp tacos are all legit. Quite difficult to choose a favorite when they are all quality. The tortillas are hand made, soft shell, corn masa style. Not my favorite, since they tend to crumble and fall apart too easily, but they were actually pretty flavorful.

DSC05814

DSC05824

As you can see from the pics above, delivery is pretty cool because they have boxes that are specially designed for carrying three tacos. Very convenient.

The masa fries were a big hit for me. They’re nice and crunchy! Basically, they are like thick, half tender/half crisp taco shell strips. Very inventive.

DSC05822

And the horchata tastes like the milk that’s left over after eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, one of my all-time favorite cereals. Very tasty.

DSC05823

OTTO’S TACOS
705 9th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Hell’s Chicken

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS CLOSED

My wife and I were recently invited here for a press meal.

DSC02736

This place is located just above the new Hudson Yards construction area on the west side. It’s a prime spot for the soon-to-be-bustling area. In any case, Hell’s Chicken serves up some tasty Korean style fried chicken!

DSC02781

The batter was nice and crispy, and one of the sauces, the soy ginger, was really delicious. Even the drum sticks were adequately battered and sauced, so that the ratio between meat and batter was in the proper proportion.

DSC02773_1

We also tried the “spicy hell” sauce, which is tomato based and gluten free. It did not deliver the kind of heat that one might expect from such eloquent naming. I thought I’d be shitting molten lava afterward, but that won’t be the case (thankfully). In any event, don’t be afraid! A good, welcoming heat creeps up a few seconds after your taste buds get to work, and the end result is pretty addictive.

DSC02771_1

That’s cashew powder sprinkled on top, by the way: a very interesting touch.

Not only does this place do fried chicken, but they also serve up some traditional Korean dishes as well. We tried three courses. This first bite was a shrimp and veggie roll wrapped in pickled daikon.

DSC02752_1

It was nice and refreshing, with a hit of sweet pickled goodness from the daikon.

Then we sank our teeth into this kimchi pancake, made with eggs, flour and pickled cabbage. It was crispy but had a nice dense, substantive texture to it from the kimchi inside. This might have been my favorite dish of the night.

DSC02769_1

Next up was this platter of bork belly and lightly dressed greens. The belly was sliced thick and grilled with simple spices and sesame seeds. We dipped the pork in spicy bean paste. Awesome. I could eat this every day.

DSC02783

This came out with some spicy pickled kimchi items as well. Shishito peppers, bean sprouts and cabbage. All were pickled in-house.

DSC02787

I should also mention that this joint offers a pretty good happy hour deal from 4pm to 7pm, with $5 beers, wine deals and discounted well drinks.

DSC02788

But check out this trio sampler of infused soju: yuzu, pomegranate and blueberry. All were on the sweet side, as opposed to dry. The pomegranate was the best, and most naturally pleasant tasting of the three. I like the old style presentation too, with the small jars. This will run you $18, for what is essentially about 12-15oz of soju. I thought that was a good deal.

DSC02745

To sum up, this is a great place to satisfy for your Korean fried chicken cravings. The traditional dishes are pretty great too. A guy who sat next to us ordered the bibimbap, and I must say it looked, smelled and even SOUNDED delicious when it came out in the hot clay bowl. That’ll be my next meal here.

HELL’S CHICKEN
641 10th Ave.
New York, NY 10036

Mentoku

This joint just opened up a month ago on 9th Avenue between 50th and 51st Streets.

DSC09367

DSC09368

Some things that caught my eye were that they served Hakata style ramen, which I am generally a fan of (thick, pork bone soup), and they also offer a matcha ramen, which sounded really unique. My wife and I tried them both.

First the green tea matcha ramen:

DSC09379

My wife got the lunch special deal for $12, which comes with a side of flavored rice (or extra noodles). This is the wasabi rice, with dried bonito flakes:

DSC09380

Watch them wiggle!!!

Anyway back to the ramen. This was very light (vegetarian), but it had an interesting, savory green tea flavor to it.

DSC09371

Very good for those looking to get a ramen fix but cut the calories in the process. It came topped with bamboo shoots, mushrooms, scallions and what I think was some kind of bready, fried tofu cake.

DSC09378

The flat, straight noodles were excellent. That goes for both bowls, too. However the Hakata style ramen was a bit too thin for my liking, despite the mushrooms being nice.

DSC09369

You choose bamboo shoots or mushrooms, for some reason. To get both is extra, like the egg.

DSC09370

Egg was perfect, but the pork was just one slice and very chewy. Bummer there.

DSC09375

There was still one other ramen bowl that I wanted to try, with a yuzu paste involved, so I’ll be back, for sure. I just don’t think this broth is thick enough for my Hakata, tonkotsu fix.

MENTOKU
744 9th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Mamasita

My wife and I ordered some take-out from this joint. It was a little pricey, but the food was pretty good. I imagine it would be much better at the actual restaurant, because at home, in the to-go containers, things were a bit messy.

I got the chicken burrito, which was filled with a good amount of nicely grilled chicken, rice, beans, plenty of cheese, sauteed mushrooms and peppers, and a nice sauce.

20151206_201600

It came with refried beans and rice, as well as some lettuce, sour cream and guacamole.

My wife had the chili rellenos dish. They came to us completely unassembled/unstuffed, but the components were all nicely cooked and tasty, all pepper skin was removed, and this, too, came with rice and beans. Doesn’t look like much, however.

20151206_201647

We even got some tortilla chips and salsa, as we would have, had we dined in the restaurant.

20151206_201609

MAMASITA
818 10th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Thai Select

Kate, the owner of Thai Select, invited me and my wife into the restaurant for a press meal to sample, and yammer about, some of their delicious menu selections.

DSC08951

I nearly got killed by three people going about 40mph on bicycles getting that shot, so please take the time to appreciate it more than usual. It was partially my fault, as I wasn’t watching where I was walking, but whatever. Bicycles still suck.

Anyway this joint is located in the heart of what I am now calling Thai Town in NYC. That’s 9th avenue from the 30s through the 50s. There are TONS of Thai joints on that stretch, and competition is pretty fucking fierce! There are lots of good places to dine here, and also lots of shitty ones as well. You need to know which is which, and that’s what I’m here for.

Thai Select is one of the good ones. In fact, it’s probably one of the best. The inside is decorated with a lounge-like atmosphere, with exposed brick, a long bench seat with two-top tables going along the entirety of the wall.

DSC08953

There’s a bar on the opposite end that goes about a third of the length of the entire restaurant. There’s even a back area that is elevated, almost like a stage, for larger groups.

Chef Toni explained that on Friday and Saturday nights it gets pretty jammed. This was a Monday at 6pm, so we had some elbow room to eat, at least for a little while. It did get to nearly full capacity by time we left at around 7:30pm, which is a good sign.

They offer happy hour from 4pm to 7pm, and allow you to take advantage of those deals from your table. $4 beers is a pretty great deal, for one, but there are others as well. We started by sipping on this cocktail made with citron vodka, canton, fresh ginger and lime called the Springter. It was incredibly refreshing and bright.

DSC08958

Chef Toni sat with us and explained some of the new endeavors that Thai Select is undertaking. One is a new healthy menu, where everything is gluten free, no MSG and no saturated fats, and which highlights the health benefits of various Thai herbs and ingredients.

DSC08956

DSC08957

The offerings on this portion of the menu roll out officially next month, and they actually look really good, even the vegetarian stuff!

Chef Toni has been in the restaurant biz for about seven and a half years, and is already juggling two other joints nearby in Thai Town, in addition to this one.

DSC08955

He’s created a menu that is accessible and familiar to people of all cultures, whether it is American, Indian or Latin, in addition to classic Thai dishes and flavor profiles. Everything is made in house from scratch, all the way down to the dumpling wrappers. Toni’s expertise shines in the food. Everything we tasted was really excellent, so let’s get into it:

We started with this bowl of moo dad deaw, or “pork poppers.” This is small bits of pork jerky that are crispy on the outside and served with a spicy, “fire sauce” that reminded me very much of the sauces made in Vietnam for eating with fried foods. It’s like a sri racha, but more orange colored and slightly sweet, as opposed to all spicy.

DSC08961

I couldn’t eat these things fast enough. I ripped through that bowl like nothing. I could eat buckets of this shit. PLEASE – if you like meat snacks of any kind – do yourself a favor and order this when you go. You won’t be disappointed. If this was sold in bags, I’d be stockpiling for armageddon.

Next we tried the peanut dumplings.

DSC08963

These are stuffed with sweet turnip and ground peanut, and served with a sweet soy sauce.

DSC08964

The wrapper had the texture of a really nicely executed dim sum dumpling, but it held up to cutting without falling apart. Really tasty and healthy to boot.

Toni also brought out one of their better selling appetizer items, the crab rangoon.

DSC08978

These are hand made deep fried wanton wrappers filled with whipped cream cheese and crab meat. They were very creamy and soft inside, but crisp on the outside, and came with a light duck sauce for dipping. While I’m generally not a fan of cream cheese with any sort of meat, these were definitely addicting.

DSC08984

The entree I chose was a Bangkok spice pork stir fry wok dish.

DSC08973

It came with fresh peppers (spicy green chili and sweet red bell alike), green beans and onions. And a nice little cone of rice:

DSC08968

This was a really tasty dish. It had the kick that I expect from good Thai food, but without going over the top to blow out my palette.

My wife had what I think was the winning dish of the night. She ordered the pineapple curry duck.

DSC08969

This robust, spicy-yet-sweet curry is one of the best I’ve had. The duck was placed on top, skin side up, to keep all that delicious fried skin good and crispy throughout. This is actually smoked duck from Canada, so there is less chewy fat under the skin than normal.

DSC08976

There is no waste when you eat this – none at all. No bones, no messy picking up and chewing or gnawing through cartilage or fat, and no sticky smelly fingers afterward. It was awesome. And that curry. MAN! Toni should jar it and sell it at grocery stores. It was garnished with red bell peppers, tomato, green beans, fresh basil leaves, bamboo shoots and chunks of pineapple. Killer dish. No wonder why it is another one of their top sellers.

For dessert we had the fried bananas with coconut ice cream, which was drizzled with honey and chocolate syrup, and sprinkled with toasted and untoasted sesame seeds.

DSC08989

The ice cream was good and flavorful without being too sweet, as were the fried banana egg rolls. We washed this down with some ginger tea and Thai iced tea, which was nicely adorned with a straw-wrapper rose:

DSC08996

I love that chai tea flavor with sweet milk. It reminds me of the smell of fresh pipe tobacco for some reason.

DSC08990

That about wraps it up. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed eating. Check this place out when you’re in the area and tell them I sent you.

THAI SELECT
472 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10018